Enforcing the Law of Television

Television has changed the way law-enforcement people approach their professions. Every policeman and detective has to be prepared to appear on a television show for 15 minutes.

This is why Lee Goldenhorn, a stage director, founded the Police Academy for Dramatic Arts, where officers receive acting training in front of the news cameras.

Lee claims to be from the realistic school of law-busting.

“When my students leave here, they are prepared to act in any police drama, from a car theft on ‘Hard Copy’ to a first-degree homicide on ’60 Minutes.’ ”

He took me in the back to a large street set.

“We’re doing a hostage scene today. Very few police officers know how to deal with the media in this situation.”

Lee then yelled through his bullhorn to the actor-officers milling around, “OK, here’s the drill. The bank is being robbed and 45 people are being held hostage inside. Sullivan, you arrive on the scene--what’s the first thing you do?”

“I draw my gun and hide behind my police cruiser.”

“No, you don’t. You open up a space so that CBS, NBC and ABC can set up their cameras. They have to have a clear shot of the bank, or they’ll go to the mayor and complain. Tom Brokaw comes along. What next?”

“I tell Brokaw that I can’t talk to him now because I have to save the hostages.”

“That is not what you tell Brokaw. You grab the microphone he is offering and you say, ‘Tom, my name is Officer Sullivan and it doesn’t look good. The man is armed and dangerous.’

“Then Tom asks, ‘Why don’t you go in?’ ”

Sullivan says, “We have to wait for the CBS and ABC crews.”

Lee smiled and nodded his head. “Now this is important, Sullivan, and it will decide whether you’ll make the evening news or not. You look straight into the camera and say, ‘The hostages have less chance than a spotted owl at a lumbermen’s convention.’ ”

“Yes, sir. How long do I wait?”

“Not long. Dan Rather has just arrived in his ’48 Hours’ truck. He doesn’t have much time because he’s about to leave for Afghanistan. He turns to you and says, ‘How is it shaping up?’ You reply, with all the authority you can muster, ‘I have 14 people on the roof, the street is closed off, and I’m shutting down Sears, Roebuck and laying off 50,000 people.’ ”

“Do I call him Dan?”

“Of course, you do. It makes for a warmer interview.”

“Mr. Goldenhorn, I’m getting a little worried about the hostages. Would it bother you if I lobbed a tear gas grenade into the bank?”

“It wouldn’t bother me, but how do you think Peter Jennings is going to feel if he shows up and you’ve already tear-gassed the building? Besides, you have to stall for the CNN crew.”

“How do I do that?”

“Go to a commercial. OK, we’ve waited for ABC long enough. Now let’s approach the bank for the rescue. Make certain that the TV stations have miked you. Stay in camera range at all times. This is it--the moment you have been waiting for, when all your acting classes finally pay off. Go, go, go. You apprehend the robber and rescue all the hostages! Now you return to the media pen and hold your finger up to indicate that you are No. 1, look straight into the cameras and say with a grin, ‘Hi, Mom.’ ”