Judge’s Action Deflates His Approval Rating : <i> Snapshots of life in the Golden State.</i>

The Santa Barbara district attorney’s office says it won’t prosecute the man who let the air out of the tire of a van--with a wheelchair lift on the side--that was parked in a judge’s spot.

The air-letting culprit: the judge.

According to a Sheriff’s Department report, Superior Court Judge James Slater was returning from lunch in his Porsche when he saw that his spot was taken. Despite warnings from other court personnel that the van appeared to belong to a handicapped driver, Slater took out his car keys and crouched beside the front tire. The judge reportedly responded “my heart bleeds” as he depressed the tire valve.

PSSSSsssssssssss.

The van’s owner, Irene Dorado, said she had parked in the spot in a panic because she was late to court and the only handicapped spot in the lot was blocked. Besides, she added, the judge’s stall wasn’t marked as such. When she got back to her van, she discovered a tow truck about to pull the vehicle away.

Santa Barbara Dist. Atty. Thomas Sneddon acknowledged that the vehicle code was violated by the judge’s action but said in a memo that even though “unjustified tampering” had occurred, “the behavior raised by the incident is better resolved outside the criminal justice system.”

For his part, the judge told the Santa Barbara News-Press: “I didn’t know handicapped people could park wherever they want.”

Still, he said he regretted the incident.

The News-Press made hay with the story, called for a grand jury investigation and asked its readers if they thought the judge had received special treatment. No surprise there: Of 7,350 responses, 74% said yes.

Preparing for the ‘Killer Bees’

Although a hive of Africanized honeybees, which were promptly destroyed, was found in Mexicali last month, masses of the bees are not expected to enter the state until next spring. Their stings are no more painful or dangerous than those of other honeybees, but they tend to sting in greater numbers and with less provocation. The state Department of Food and Agriculture suggests these preparations for their arrival:

* Fill in potential nesting sites, including tree cavities and holes in outside walls.

* Screen off other sites, including water meter boxes, culverts and pipes, and the tops of rainspouts.

* Get rid of discarded tires, empty paint cans and other containers, piles of lumber, trash and abandoned cars because these bees are less discriminate than other bees in where they nest.

* Avoid using industrial lawn mowers and other heavy equipment because the vibrations or any motion close to the nest disturbs the bees.

* If a nest is discovered, keep children and pets away, and call your county agricultural commissioner. Do not spray attacking bees with insecticides because this may intensify the attack.

* If attacked, use clothes to cover your face, run quickly and far, and seek shelter that the bees cannot enter--such as a car, house or other building. Do not jump in water; the bees will hover until you surface.

Compiled by Times researcher Tracy Thomas

Doctored appearance: Decked out in a white gown, blue surgical cap and a stethoscope, David Aaron Green--a state prison parolee previously convicted of practicing medicine without a license--appeared convincing enough as he walked through at least two San Bernardino County hospitals.

His downfall came when he dated a nurse. She got wise and contacted authorities in Sacramento, who arrested Green on suspicion of impersonating a doctor. They picked him up at the Ontario Airport--with a stethoscope again around his neck.

What blew his cover?

Well, on their first date, the couple happened by a traffic accident and Green inappropriately put first-aid cream on a child’s serious head injury. (The child was not harmed by the faulty treatment.)

The kicker came when the nurse called Dr. Corazon Navarro’s office, referring to the business card he had presented her.

“She’s not in,” a member of Navarro’s staff said.

She ?

*

The tortoise . . . When CHP Officer Dan Laza pulled over three vehicles along Interstate 15 near Barstow for driving too slow, he found nine desert tortoises inside one of them. They are the state’s official reptile and protected by state and federal laws.

Officials from the Bureau of Land Management and the state Department of Fish and Game were called, and they arrested the driver, a 40-year-old Cambodian from Tacoma, Wash., and cited four other adults.

The tortoises, the driver said, were being taken to Modesto, where they were going to be eaten at a wedding ceremony.

*

. . . and the hair: San Francisco disc jockey Erich (Mancow) Muller, who was clipped a week on the job by station management, has publicly apologized for stopping traffic on the Bay Bridge so he could get a haircut and poke fun at President Clinton’s aircraft-stopping haircut at Los Angeles International Airport.

Muller said he spent his weeklong suspension watching soap operas and learned that people have a “good twin” and an “evil twin.” He promised that “the evil Mancow, he’s gone.”

The good Mancow is ordered to appear in court today to face the CHP citation for obstructing traffic and creating a public nuisance.

But Nancy Martinez still has her dander up. The real estate executive, furious at the hourlong traffic delay, has filed a class-action lawsuit seeking $4 million on behalf of all the inconvenienced motorists.

Her attorney is inviting other motorists to join the suit.

Honk if you’re litigious.

EXIT LINE

“They did something that we wish everybody had the presence of mind to do.”

--John Hisserich, chairman of the Committee of Bar Examiners, on the five people who interrupted their Bar exam for 20 minutes last February to aid a fellow test taker who had suffered a seizure. The Bar exam results are out, and among the 44.2% who passed were two of the good Samaritans--John Leslie and Julio De Jesus.

California Dateline appears every other Friday.