For a Year, This Town Is Just Another Joe

They held a party Saturday for Joe Montana in his namesake town of Joe, Montana, but the famous former San Francisco 49er quarterback was a no-show.

A crowd of about 1,000 braved heavy rain and spectacular lightning to help this tiny--population 28--eastern farming community rename itself from Ismay to Joe in honor of Montana, who now plays for the Kansas City Chiefs.

The name change is unofficial and will last only until the end of the NFL season, but the post office acknowledged the event with a special postmark in the shape of a football helmet.

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Trivia time: The Olympic Games in 1916, 1940 and 1944 were canceled because of World Wars I and II. What were the sites?

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Penmanship: Payne Stewart stands out on the PGA Tour because of the knickers he wears in the colors of NFL teams.

However, Stewart’s colorful outfits are often smeared with ink by aggressive autograph seekers.

“I’ve got pen marks all over my clothes and arms,” Stewart told the Chicago Sun-Times at the recently concluded Western Open. “I carry a pen with me and the first thing I say to (fans) is, ‘I’ve got a pen.’ Shirts, pants everything get ruined because of it.”

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Career setback: Cincinnati Red catcher Joe Oliver required 12 stitches in his arm when he stumbled unloading the silverware drawer in his dishwasher and stuck himself with a knife.

“I guess that means I can’t get a job at Denny’s,” Oliver said.

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Yankee bashing: Columnist Art Spander of the San Francisco Examiner reporting from Wimbledon:

“Neither (Pete) Sampras, the world’s No. 1 player, nor (Jim) Courier, No. 2, is without defects, Sampras offering the personality of a catatonic cloth and Courier often responding less like a guy with a chip on his shoulder than an entire redwood tree.

“But the way they’ve been treated this Wimbledon by both press and the public, it’s as if they personally led the revolution against the English, threw the tea in Boston Harbor and then chased the redcoats into Canada.”

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Bonus catch: In a June 25 game at Candlestick Park, San Francisco Giant first baseman Will Clark reached into the stands to catch a foul ball and had beer spilled on him by a fan.

“When I came in when the inning was over, (the fan) yelled at me, ‘You stole my ball,’ ” Clark said. “I said, ‘I got your beer, too.’ ”

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Tongue twister: The University of Michigan recruited a star running back whom Montreal newspapers have nicknamed “Touchdown Tim.”

He’s a native of Zaire who moved to Montreal 12 years ago. “A nickname was vital,” writes Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle, “since his real name is Tshimanga Blakabutuka.”

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Trivia answer: Berlin, 1916; Tokyo, 1940, and London, 1944.

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Quotebook: Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe: “Headline in Friday’s Worcester (Mass.) Telegram and Gazette: ‘(Roger) Clemens’ groin remains sensitive.’ ”