A Golfer’s Lament Becomes a Golfer’s Epitaph in Vermont

The late Joe Kirkwood gained fame as one of golf’s greatest trick shot artists, but often overlooked is that he once finished third in a British Open and challenged for the U.S. Open title five times between 1921 and 1934.

His tombstone, in a small cemetery in Vermont, carries this message:

Tell your story of hard luck shots,

Of each one straight and true.

But when you are down,

Remember son,

That nobody cares but you.

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No change: Jim Lampley, who will succeed Bob Costas as host of “NFL Live” this fall, says: “I think that with similar backgrounds, similar ages and similar in every way but height, we are pretty much alike as human beings, and it’s not likely that I’m going to be such a radical departure from him.

“My whole career has been so accidental and idiosyncratic that it isn’t beyond the realm of conception that I wind up hosting some fashion model showcase show from Nairobi, Kenya, every weekend.”

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Trivia time: Who was the youngest player to play in the major leagues?

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Different strokes: The Amateur Athletic Foundation’s Sports Letter reveals some fascinating sports feats recorded in China.

Among them are the men’s 60-meter backward dash in 12.65 seconds, men’s 15-meter backward swim--with feet in front--in 19.09 seconds, one-minute grenade throwing for accuracy, 46 grenades; bouncing a pyramid-shaped ball, 517 times, and standing at attention, 7 hours 8 minutes.

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Perfect fit: If Anthony Young ever decides to get a vanity license plate, columnist Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch has a suggestion: C ME LUZ.

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Any answers? Phillie pitcher Larry Andersen asks: “Why does everybody stand up and sing, ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when they’re already there?”

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Players and coaches: From the 1979-80 set of O-Pee-Chee hockey cards, Wayne Gretzky’s mint condition rookie card is listed at $700 in the Beckett Price Guide.

From that same season, the rookie card of King Coach Barry Melrose, then with the Winnipeg Jets, lists at $1.50.

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Matter of timing: Catcher Danny Sheaffer of the Colorado Rockies has an interesting hobby. He collects autographs of Hall of Fame baseball players and future Hall of Famers. When the Rockies went to St. Louis the first time, he said his goal was to get relief pitcher Lee Smith’s signature.

Then in the game, Sheaffer hit a game-winning home run off Smith in the ninth inning.

When Rocky Manager Don Baylor was asked if Sheaffer ever got Smith’s autograph, he said, “I just hope he asked him before the game.”

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Inflation: When Bob Cousy was all-everything for the Boston Celtics in the 1960s, his base salary was $30,000. For his acting debut in Paramount’s “Blue Chips,” in which he plays a college athletic director overseeing basketball coach Nick Nolte, he will make $150,000, according to Robert Osborne of the Hollywood Reporter.

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Trivia answer: Joe Nuxhall, who was 15 years, 10 months and 11 days old when he pitched for the Cincinnati Reds on June 10, 1944.

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Quotebook: Cyclist Karen Bliss, after seeing 62,000 in the Alamodome for the opening ceremony of the Olympic Festival: “I had no idea there were going to be so many people. I thought there would just be a few mommies in the stands.”