Lighten Up, King James : Slang Version of Bible Strives to Reach Streetwise Youths

In the beginning, the Earth was a fashion misfit and the Garden of Eden’s serpent was one bad dude. Cain wasted Abel and Noah was one cool brother.

So goes P. K. McCary’s new slang version of the Bible, one in which the Houston author aims to inspire hope in young blacks dispirited by poverty and violence.

The Scripture according to the Black Bible Chronicles is lean, sinewy and street-savvy. In slang, it’s bad.

“I’m not a theological expert, but I do believe that God didn’t stop talking when He talked to Moses on the mountaintop,” said McCary, a 40-year-old journalist and lifelong Bible lover. “I believe He’s still talking.”

Here’s how He’s saying it:

“Now when the Almighty was first down with His program, He made the heavens and the Earth. The Earth was a fashion misfit, being so uncool and dark, but the Spirit of the Almighty came down real tough, so that he simply said, ‘Lighten up!’ ”

Later, when God decides to unleash floods over the Earth, here’s how he breaks it to Noah:

“I’m fed up, Noah, with what’s happenin’ ‘round here. These folks ain’t what’s happenin’ anymore, so I’m gonna do what I gotta do, and end things once and for all. Man, I’m gonna blow the brothers clear outta the water.”

McCary said the five Bible books she translated, Genesis through Deuteronomy, are true to the original. Several lessons are footnoted so readers can find them in a conventional Bible.

The difference is candid and up-to-date discussion on such topics as crime--and sex.

“It was a bad thing to do the wild thing without a blessing from the Almighty. You had to be blessed,” it says.

The 190-page book is available in major bookstores nationwide. It was started more than a decade ago while McCary, the daughter and granddaughter of Baptist ministers, taught Sunday school.

The single mother of three noticed how children were excited by Bible stories they could relate to--stories that included people they knew.

It’s a matter of breaking down the heady language barrier posed by the King James Bible and its descendants, McCary said.

“The meaning in the Bible does not really change, but it does become appropriate for the times,” she said.

“If we label Jesus as only the sandal-wearing, toga-clad, long-haired, white, blond, blue-eyed . . . you’re not going to reach 90% of the people because this world is made up of people of color.”

To some Christian fundamentalists, however, her Bible is blasphemy worthy of eternal damnation. In slang, the sister’s dissin’ God, and that ain’t cool.

“It’s an abomination,” said Houston Baptist preacher Carl Hodges. “I object strenuously to her language. She uses a lot of street language . . . to supposedly try to reach youth and younger adults. That’s the argument that the end justifies the means, and God condemns that.

“He wants us to do his work and He wants us to do it his way.”

Joe Ratliff, a Baptist minister who presides over McCary’s church in south Houston, said the slang approach is no different than Christian films or music. He added that any criticism is based in racism and elitism.

“To me the whole purpose is to reach people,” Ratliff said. “I think any resistance comes at the point of our not wanting to break the traditional molds.”

Between promotional tours, McCary is already working on a sequel, to be called “Rapping About Jesus,” in which she translates the New Testament books of Matthew, Luke, Mark and John. It is scheduled to be in bookstores by Christmas.