THE NFL / BILL PLASCHKE : Who Carries the Most Paperweight?

On the desk is a piece of paper, cream-colored, rough-edged at the top and bottom. Somebody ripped it off an old-fashioned wire machine, stuck it into an envelope and mailed it. It could easily pass for waste paper.

But the Rams and Seattle Seahawks could look at it and know right away what it means.

It means stature. It means credibility. Most important, it means ticket sales.

It is an Associated Press All-NFL ballot, asking the writer to name the best players in the league.

One can imagine officials from the Rams and Seahawks scanning the ballot until they come to two words near the bottom. One imagines them jabbing the paper with their fingers, saying, “Yes, this is it. This is the one.”

The words? Offensive rookie . The voter is to write the name of the top offensive rookie in the NFL this season.

So simple. But for these two teams, so profound.

If most of the 84 voters write in Jerome Bettis, then the Rams can officially sell hope.

They can slap a rookie-of-the-year tag on everything from marketing brochures to team sunglasses. If it can attract enough attention of fans pining for a legitimate star, the award can become an anchor to keep the team from moving to Baltimore.

Or, if most of the 84 voters write in Rick Mirer, then the Seahawks can officially sell a rebirth.

They can slap a rookie-of-the-year tag on everything from season ticket applications to team umbrellas. They failed to sell out every home game this season for the first time in franchise history. A rookie of the year could help those lost fans find their way back.

Bettis or Mirer?

“If Jerome wins, we would certainly mention it in our advertising,” said Carl Borack, Ram director of marketing. “Football teams need marquee players, and this guy is a marquee player.”

Mirer or Bettis? It has become a quiet battle that has split former college teammates, former co-workers, even families.

Gary Wright, Seahawk vice president, reminds that Mirer has gone where no rookie quarterback has gone before.

Steve Wright, Ram publicity intern and Gary’s son, tells anyone who listens that the winner should be Bettis.

Bettis and Mirer, former teammates at Notre Dame, were asked how they would vote.

Bettis won points for honesty, but Mirer won the round on savvy.

Said Bettis: “Right now, I would vote for Rick Mirer.”

Said Mirer: “What do you say to that?”

Statistics are no help, either.

Bettis, who ranks second in the NFL with 1,103 yards rushing, has a chance to become the first rookie running back in 10 years to lead the league in rushing.

Mirer, who ranks 24th among quarterbacks, has completed more passes than any rookie in history, 228, and needs only 160 yards passing to pass Jim Zorn’s rookie record of 2,571.

Bettis or Mirer? One man who has seen them both, personnel director Kevin Colbert of the Detroit Lions, makes this comparison.

“We were impressed with Rick’s composure, for his ability to look as good as he did for a first-year player,” Colbert said. “With Jerome, we were impressed with his sheer power.”

Bettis or Mirer? Power or composure? Running back or quarterback?

“Quarterback is the hardest position for a rookie to play,” Mirer said. “With a running back, you pretty much do what comes natural.”

Bettis agreed, saying, “Rick has been a bigger surprise, because its harder for a rookie quarterback to understand an offense.”

So it’s Mirer, right?

“Just because I said I would vote for him doesn’t mean you (writers) have to vote for him,” Bettis replied, later adding, “I keep going strong, I can pull it out.”

But the piece of torn paper says the votes are due in New York by Dec. 27.

That means Bettis has only one more game to show that what he has accomplished in half a season is more impressive than what Mirer has been doing since September.

We say it can’t be done. But ask us again Monday.

OUR ALL-ROOKIE TEAM

This group contains five former Fighting Irish, leading one to wonder how in the world Lou Holtz failed to win a national championship last year.

It also contains 12 first-round draft picks, eight from the second round, four from the third round, one from the fourth, one fifth-round pick . . . and good ol’ James Jett.

OFFENSE

QUARTERBACK: Mirer. Perhaps the best rookie quarterback ever.

RUNNING BACK: Bettis. Also captain of our all-interview team.

RUNNING BACK: Reggie Brooks, Washington Redskins. Another Notre Dame guy. Touchdown runs of 78 and 85 yards are the two longest scoring dashes in the league this year

WIDE RECEIVER: Vincent Brisby, New England Patriots. Do they know how to play football at Northeast Louisiana or what? Running backs Greg Robinson of the Raiders and Roosevelt Potts of the Indianapolis Colts are also rookies from that school.

WIDE RECEIVER: Jett, Raiders. Only free agent among this bunch, which will keep us quiet about Al Davis for at least another week.

TIGHT END: Irv Smith, New Orleans Saints. Well, at least he’s starting, which is more than you can say for Troy Drayton.

CENTER: Steve Everitt, Cleveland Browns. Has been starting and playing hard since May mini-camp.

GUARD: Lincoln Kennedy, Atlanta Falcons. Recently knocked Dallas Cowboy defensive linemen off their feet on three consecutive plays.

GUARD: Will Shields, Kansas City Chiefs. Joe Montana loves him, which is plenty good for us.

TACKLE: William Roaf, New Orleans Saints. The league’s best rookie who doesn’t handle the ball.

Tackle: Brad Hopkins, Houston Oilers. Oilers are 7-0 when he starts.

DEFENSE

LINEMAN: Dana Stubblefield, San Francisco 49ers. Defensive rookie of the year, leads all rookies with 9 1/2 sacks.

LINEMAN: Dan Williams, Denver Broncos. Injured early, but has moved into the starting lineup for the league’s fifth-ranked run defense.

LINEMAN: Sterling Palmer, Washington Redskins. Leads the team in tackles for losses with five.

OUTSIDE LINEBACKER: Chris Slade, New England Patriots. His eight sacks lead AFC rookies.

INSIDE LINEBACKER: Chad Brown, Pittsburgh Steelers. His bite is as bad as one from those exotic snakes he collects.

INSIDE LINEBACKER: Steve Tovar, Cincinnati Bengals. He has been starting only since the middle of the season but is fourth on the team in tackles.

OUTSIDE LINEBACKER: Darrin Smith, Dallas Cowboys. He’s one reason Ken Norton has moved inside and Robert Jones has moved off the face of the earth. He had 14 tackles against the Philadelphia Eagles.

CORNERBACK: Tom Carter, Redskins. Second in the NFC with five interceptions.

CORNERBACK: Ryan McNeil, Detroit Lions. He had a game-saving interception last week against Phoenix. He’s still strictly a second- and third-down guy, but will be a factor in the playoff run.

FREE SAFETY: George Teague, Green Bay Packers. Best center fielder in that state since Robin Yount.

STRONG SAFETY: Roger Harper, Falcons. The next Tim McDonald, only stronger.

SPECIALISTS

KICKER: Jason Elam, Broncos. Seventh leading scorer in the league.

PUNTER: Harold Alexander, Falcons. Kid from Pickens, S.C., learns to love the big city with a net average of 38.5 yards, third in the league.

KICK RETURNER: Tyrone Hughes, Saints. His 99-yard touchdown return is the longest in the league this season.

PUNT RETURNER: Darrien Gordon, San Diego Chargers. He has the best average return--13.6 yards--in football.

SPECIAL TEAMS PLAYER: Michael Barrow, Oilers. Perhaps no rookie in this league hits harder.

QUICK KICKS

* AND YOU STILL THINK THE FALCONS DON’T HAVE A CHANCE? Steve Young and Jerry Rice might well be part of the best offense in NFL history, but in the last month, they haven’t even been the best duo in their division.

In the last four games, quarterback Bobby Hebert of the Atlanta Falcons has thrown for two more touchdowns than Young (10-8), one more interception (6-5) and 22 more yards (1,136-1,114).

In that same period, Falcon receiver Andre Rison has two more catches than Rice (22-20) with the same number of touchdowns (four).

If the favorites win the remaining games involving NFC wild-card contenders, the Falcons, after an 0-5 start, will make the playoffs.

* WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT: A locker-room incident Monday has people wondering whether the 49ers’ aren’t suffering a little holiday stress.

Defensive lineman Ted Washington and safety Dana Hall got into a screaming match.

Three players jumped between them before any physical damage was done. But what about damage of another kind?

The most embarrassing thing about the argument was that it reportedly stemmed from a play during the loss to Atlanta in which Hall, who has been benched, messed up a blitz and collided with Washington. Hebert threw a one-yard touchdown pass to Michael Haynes on the play.

* NOT THAT THEY’LL GO DOWN EASY: If the 49ers lose to the Detroit Lions on Sunday, it will be only the sixth time in 10 years they have lost consecutive games.

* WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME IN, SAY, THE LAST FIVE MINUTES? The recovery of Dolphin quarterback Scott Mitchell, combined with the signing of Steve DeBerg and the presence of Hugh Millen, led the Miami Dolphins to make a move last week that was treated as nothing more than a note.

Doug Pederson, the quarterback who presided over Don Shula’s record 325th victory earlier this season in Philadelphia, was waived.

What a game.

* GREAT IDEA: Marty Schottenheimer, the Chiefs’ coach, said he expected the Competition Committee to discuss adding the two-point conversion this spring.

Schottenheimer said that, unlike many conservative coaches, he favored the rule.

But when asked if he would go for two points if trailing by one late in the game, he said, and we are paraphrasing here, get real .

The proposed rule change is not expected to pass.

* SCROOGE OF THE YEAR: At a recent public appearance, Chicago Bear kicker Kevin Butler and Santa Claus were fielding questions from children.

A girl raised her hand and asked how Butler felt about missing 21- and 30-yard field goals in the loss to the Raiders.

“Bad question,” Butler said. “Santa, remove her from your list.”