Holiday Hassles: They’re All in Your Mind : Lifestyle: Break the tradition that says you have to be everything to everyone. Fewer gifts and parties will ease the load.

Even at this late date, there are still a few ways to cut down on holiday hassles, says an expert on getting organized. And by paying attention now, you can reduce seasonal stress a lot more next year.

“The amount of hassle you have is what you put on yourself,” says Stephanie Culp, author of “Streamlining Your Life” and “How to Conquer Clutter.” “People feel they have to do it the way it’s always been done, to recapture that warm and fuzzy feeling we got as kids. But only kids get that: Adults work themselves to death, particularly the women.”

According to a Roper survey recently commissioned by Alka-Seltzer, 52% of respondents said they didn’t enjoy the holidays as much as when they were kids.

So do things differently and “don’t worry about breaking old traditions. Think of yourself as starting a new tradition,” Culp says.

Some people can just head out of town. Others, committed to staying home and preparing the Big Meal, can ease their burden significantly. They can have each person bring a special dish, accept offers of help and make the kitchen the main gathering place. More radical, Culp says, they can reserve a big table at a restaurant for togetherness without the work.

Fifty-three percent of those in the Roper survey said they plan to attend three to five holiday parties, but it’s not too late to ease up.

Unfortunately, Culp says, we’re flattered by invitations and accept everything, although 10 minutes into most parties, “we want to leave gracefully.” Her simple fix: “Select a few you don’t go to, and stay home and do what you want.”

The hassle of gifts can be reduced by catalogue shopping, or by giving gift certificates, magazine subscriptions, or even just “asking people what they want, then going to get it,” she says.

Spending less also helps. One could “give a gift of time,” says Culp, offering home-made certificates for baby-sitting or home-baked cakes.

Better yet, one should review the whole gift-giving impulse. “If you really face facts,” she says, “you’re giving and getting a lot of obligation gifts, where you open them and shrug, and the person you’re giving something feels that way, too.”

“It may be too late now, but next year, call those obligation people and say we’re really happy you’re in our life, but let’s not exchange gifts. Let’s go out to dinner and spend time together instead. As people get older, if they were really honest with each other, they’d say gifts are for younger people.”

For kids, too, Christmas is “a good time to implement my in-and-out inventory rule: something comes in, something goes out. It works in the kid’s room, the teen-ager’s closet, the kitchen.”

And it leads right into another Culp specialty: a clutter-free New Year.