Caffeine Camaraderie : Young People Plug Into Circuit of Coffeehouses, Clubs
Pray tell, what’s a bright, young single in Orange County to do on a Friday night?
Kathy Kohbad, 23, of Laguna Hills enthusiastically treks to an ever-changing circuit of coffeehouses, nightclubs and bars, usually with her pals.
“I love being single,” Kohbad said at one of her favorite haunts, Rock-N-Java in Costa Mesa. “It gives me more opportunity to spend time with my friends and get crazy.”
Getting crazy for young singles in the ‘90s entails much of the same outlets enjoyed by previous generations: dancing, flirting, partying. But this group’s new consciousness regarding drunk driving, AIDS and date rape has given rise to alternative ways to have fun. Hanging with a group of friends at coffeehouses has gathered steam among the young.
Nine out of 10 singles 18 to 34 years old have marriage on their to-do lists, but fewer than half had a serious romance underway, according to a Times Orange County Poll. Six in 10 said they spent more time with their friends than with dates.
And it just so happens that introduction through friends was cited often as the “best way” to meet dates.
“I’m interested in friendship, really getting to know the person more than sex,” said Kohbad, who has a couple of dates a week. “It’s not difficult to find single guys to date. I’m just pretty busy for any more than that.”
Her idea of a great date? “A movie and dinner,” Kohbad said, “as long as he’s cooking.”
As for social scenes, she and others her age say they prefer coffeehouses to the traditional targets, such as bars and nightclubs.
Not that they avoid those hangs entirely. “We go to clubs. But the scene here is a little deadbeat. I see a lot of the same people and nothing innovative is happening,” she said. “I also think people are very superficial and standoffish in bars. Even I am sometimes. I don’t go there to meet someone. I go there to dance.”
Alex Fertig, 21, can relate. “When I go out, I don’t go with the intention of meeting people,” said Fertig, who lives in Westminster.
On this Friday night, filled with brewed gourmet bean juice, he and three single friends--Brant Gage, 22, Linna Choi, 20, and Cara Tyler, 21--are just hanging out near the Rock-N-Java’s outdoor Ping-Pong table.
Gage of San Juan Capistrano says he doesn’t go out looking for a partner. “But I never rule out the option either,” he said. “Going to a bar or club is more about looking for someone than talking to them. If I wanted to get to know someone better, I’d go to a coffeehouse.”
The four friends, who attended Dana Hills High School together, prefer venturing out on group dates. It’s “a lot safer and more comfortable,” said Tyler of San Juan Capistrano. Aside from finding safety in numbers, being in a group alleviates the pressures of getting stuck alone with a date dud.
Unfortunately for Choi, who lives in Laguna Niguel, the duds outnumber the thinking studs in these parts. “People seem really shallow here,” she said. “I’m not into yuppies or surfer dudes so that kind of rules out most O.C. men. I’m looking for a soul, a brain.
“It’s just really difficult to find people who you can have a conversation with--although it’s gotten easier to find those kind of people with all the coffeehouses,” she said.
“Things are getting better for singles,” added Fertig. “I’m not so rushed to move out of Orange County anymore.”