Today’s special--Buick under glass: The Beverly Hills...

Today’s special--Buick under glass: The Beverly Hills restaurant Nirvana, which has been undergoing renovation since a car crashed through its wall, displays a sign that says, “Not a Drive-In. Please Walk In.”

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It must come with a roommate: Then there’s the hotel near LAX, with the marquee, “Special Rat $49.” We’d be inclined to drive by that one.

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Della, get me Paul Drake: Buena Park’s Movieland Wax Museum has unveiled a model of O.J. Simpson, sitting in the witness stand, near a model of TV’s Perry Mason, the fictitious defense attorney who was played by Raymond Burr.

Visitors appreciate “the educational side” of the exhibit, marketing director Mark Edwards told the Reuters news agency. “Most people had only seen O.J. on television, and when they saw his true-to-life image they said things like, ‘Oh, is that what he looks like? Is that how tall he is?’ ”

He added: “We thought about having models of O.J.’s attorneys and the prosecutors and Judge (Lance A.) Ito as well, but at $20,000 per model, it was just too financially prohibitive.”

Though certainly educational.

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Speaking of those two noble callings: We mean show business and the legal profession, of course. An ad in Variety illustrates just how closely those two fields are related, in case you needed a reminder.

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A round-trip bare: The New York Transit Authority recently ruled that women, as well as men, can go topless on the subways as long as they behave themselves. (Some have viewed this as a revenue-raising measure on the part of the city of New York.)

Here, in more sophisticated L.A., no one has been ticketed for riding topless. MTA Report, a monthly update on the transit system by the lobbying firm of Rose & Kindel, ran a short article about the ridership rules in L.A. and said there is “nothing about shirts, shoes, shorts or culottes.”

However, the MTA does say no to “smoking, littering, eating, drinking, or playing the radio.” You may recall the case of the L.A. businessman who was fined $104 last year for eating on the Blue Line. His crime: He was observed popping one small chocolate into his mouth.

A naked violation of the rules.

miscelLAny Norma Jacobs wrote in the L.A. Conservancy News that when she was growing up in Southern California “close to 40 years ago,” she was taught this ditty “to help me get around in Downtown L.A.: ‘From Main You Spring to Broadway/ Climb a Hill to Olive/ Wouldn’t it be Grand to Hope/ To pick a Flower on Figueroa?” Today, by contrast, you can just tear off your clothes and jump on the Red Line.