Hate those Pig-Alerts:The trouble started when a...

Hate those Pig-Alerts:

The trouble started when a pig tumbled out of the back of a pickup truck onto the 405 freeway in the South Bay area. A driver swerved to avoid the porker and crashed, causing a traffic jam.

A couple of days later, the owner of the pig phoned Rob Fox of Shadow Broadcast Services, which delivers traffic reports for KFWB and several other stations.

“She wanted to know who the driver was,” Fox said, “so she could thank him for being so conscientious.”

Fox didn’t know but relayed her message to Only in L.A., in case any readers know.

The woman told Fox that she had been forced to move the pig to a new residence in the Inland Empire because, at 200 pounds, it had grown too large for her house. The porker, by the way, was safely rounded up, she told Fox, and is “now happily resting at his new home.”

SAY IT WITH BILLBOARDS: Rather than send roses or chocolates, someone bought space on a sign along the Santa Ana Freeway in the City of Commerce to ask for forgiveness from his beloved (see photo).

YOU CAN’T FIND CITY HALL: At least, it might have been difficult for visitors Wednesday inasmuch as the Civic Center landmark bore a sign that said, “Clark County Superior Court” on its west face. We knew Mayor Riordan had talked about selling LAX. But City Hall, too?

UNREALITY SETS IN: We felt relieved over the fate of City Hall when we noticed the sign change was made for a movie. In the sweltering heat Wednesday, machine-made rain poured on two trench-coat-clad actors carrying umbrellas. It was a refreshing sight. And there aren’t very many refreshing sights at City Hall these days.

BEVERLY, YOU’VE CHANGED: Cliff Dektar was leaving Cedars-Sinai Medical Center when he spotted a construction site at the Beverly Center. A sign said: “And you thought they performed face-lifts across the street.”

Which reminds us that Le Parc Hotel in West Hollywood has opened a private post-operative retreat for cosmetic surgery patients. The hotel will even pick up guests at the doctor’s office and whisk them away in a limo--one with tinted windows, of course.

DON’T GET MAD--GET BAKIN’: Awakened by a series of screeching and crashing sounds at 2:30 a.m., Sylvia Holmes of San Pedro emerged from her home to find her car demolished. The driver who had inflicted the damage had fled, naturally.

“I was so angry I couldn’t sleep,” Holmes told a friend. “So I just stayed up all night making six apple pies.”

Holmes, an outreach worker for a youth gang prevention program, donated the pies to a fund-raising party for the alcoholism and drug-recovery programs of the Beacon House Assn. of San Pedro.

Too bad the hit-and-run driver couldn’t have been given a pie--in the face.

miscelLAny “Professional development” classes offered at Cal State L.A. include: “How to Become a Balloon Artist/Full or Part-Time,” “Launch Your Career as a Wedding Consultant” and “Complete Journalism Skills Workshop (six sessions).” Gee, as we recall, we earned our journalism degree in a three-session workshop.