Minding Their Manners : School’s politeness curriculum makes hardheaded sense in today’s climate of violence

In classrooms in Van Nuys this past week, about 500 students were learning far more than the traditional three R’s. This time, the lessons included respect, reason, receptiveness and reliability. It was the good manners and politeness curriculum developed by Valley Schools instructors Deborah Richmond and Diane Manchen. And if you thought the idea was silly, guess again.

A few years ago, the Boston public schools were developing a violence-prevention curriculum, and the following exercise showed just how far some students had to go. In it, students were to review a videotape of a staged misunderstanding between two youths that escalated into a fight. They were supposed to raise their hands at all of the many moments in which the situation could have could have ended peaceably.

There was one slight problem.

The videotape played through to its easily avoided and violent end without any of the students recognizing any moment in which reason or plain common sense might have prevailed.

These days, a brawl can start over the wearing of clothing of a particular color, or through the perceived disrespect of an innocent and casual glance. These days, the fights aren’t as likely to be conducted with fists or rocks. The easy availability of lethal weaponry has raised the stakes.

These days, parents should be doing their all to warn their children about such matters. They should be teaching their sons and daughters about mutual respect and about how to peacefully resolve disputes. And any time the schools can find the time to buttress those efforts, they certainly should.

Our only concern is that the instruction might not go far enough into real-life dispute resolution situations that might arise at school. In that vein, we have only two suggestions for the Valley Schools instructors who developed the manners curriculum: Keep at it, and expand it.