MORALITY: Most children credit parents with teaching right from wrong, but drugs, alcohol, racial tensions and anti-gay prejudices remain issues of concern. : Push Is On to Lay a Solid Foundation

By FRED ALVAREZ

Oct. 8, 1995 12 AM PT

TIMES STAFF WRITER

When Thousand Oaks teacher Judy Bowers asked her students to create the ideal community, she told them to make sure that it included all the most important things.

The first- and second-graders created Paradise Valley, a shoe-box city of two-story tract homes and broccoli-shaped trees. It had a tiny hospital, a police station and a Toys R Us.

Most important, it had at its heart a moral code that guided the behavior of its citizens.

There was no theft, no graffiti and no littering in Paradise Valley. Everyone obeyed the speed limit, and only police officers carried guns. It was the kind of place where neighbors counted on one another and worked together to make things better.

“The kids talked a lot about what’s important in a community, about the values of people who are doing their personal best and who care for each other,” said Bowers, a veteran teacher at Meadows elementary school.

“I think our children are getting better than a basic education. They are getting values that are going to translate to new situations,” she said. “Isn’t that the kind of thing we should be doing to prepare kids for real life?”

Across Ventura County, that question is being asked a lot these days.

From leaders of a Boy Scout troop in Oxnard to school officials in Ventura and Simi Valley, there is a growing push to lay a moral foundation for young people.

And with good reason. According to a Times Poll of Ventura County residents, 100% of the kids surveyed said they believe that their parents have done a good or excellent job teaching them the difference between right and wrong.

But 54% said at least half of their fellow underage students drink alcohol regularly, while 36% said at least half of their classmates take drugs.

Racial tension is common, while anti-gay prejudice is widespread. Age-old problems such as cutting class and cheating on tests remain firmly rooted.

And newer problems are on the rise.

Between 1986 and 1993, the number of births to Ventura County teen-agers 17 years and younger rose 30%, from 327 to 426.

During that same period, crimes committed by juveniles skyrocketed, including a 31% increase in drug offenses, 70% increase in violent crime and 269% increase in vandalism.

“There are a lot of kids who don’t care about anything except getting high and having a good time,” said a 17-year-old Buena High student who was guzzling malt liquor with his buddies in a parking lot across from the Ventura Theatre.

He was surrounded by young rock fans like himself, hair greased and teased into knots, gold trinkets punched into their ears, noses and tongues.

“It’s not that they don’t know the difference between right and wrong,” he said. “They just don’t care.”

The battle to redirect the moral compass is set against the backdrop of an increasingly frightening world for children, one that often overpowers them with realities of drugs, violence and peer pressure.

It is a world where some youngsters receive little help from their parents in sifting through media images of sex and relationships, materialism and marital mayhem. And it is a world often shaded in gray when it comes to sorting through the influences to which children are exposed.

When “Mortal Kombat” was the summer’s No. 1 movie in America, for example, critics blasted it as little more than a two-hour promotion for the blood-and-guts video game of the same name.

Nevertheless, an Oxnard movie house showing the film during its initial run was packed with young fans, many accompanied by parents who characterized the martial arts movie as harmless entertainment.

“I didn’t think it was too violent,” said Jenny Garcia of Oxnard, who took her two kids and various nieces and nephews to see the movie. “It’s no worse than what kids see on TV. And I’d rather my kids see this with me than be off doing real violence somewhere.”

The push to harden the moral armor of Ventura County’s children has led to the resurgence of old-fashioned ideals such as city curfews, student leadership and religious training. And it has spilled over into debates revolving around the rising influence of religious groups in setting public policy.

Moreover, it is bolstered by the belief that, in many ways, Ventura County remains the kind of place where the moral fabric is still whole, held together by a common thread of values that stress children and family above all else.

“I think people are starting to realize the things we have done for our children over the past 20 to 30 years in society have resulted in some tremendous problems,” said Dave Graska, a Camarillo resident and head of the Ventura County Council of the Boy Scouts of America. More than 7,000 youngsters, in nearly 300 scouting units countywide, belong to the Scouts.

“There’s starting to be a re-emphasis on traditional values, and I think Ventura County has a stronger focus in that area than other places,” Graska said. “I think people here feel that the battle to instill a core set of values in our kids is still winnable.”

While parental involvement is at the heart of establishing a pattern of right conduct, religious and community organizations play a strong supporting role.

For Leena Shankar, a 17-year-old senior at La Reina High School in Thousand Oaks, morality was learned at home, but strengthened through religious education. A parochial school student since age 5, she holds firm to a core set of beliefs that include no drinking, no drugs and no premarital sex.

“It is nice to go to a school that takes time out to teach the things that are really important, things like values, not just reading and math,” she said of her Catholic girls’ school. “At La Reina, I feel the majority of people are like me. I’m sure at a public school, the majority would be the other way.”

Thomas Duffy, 18, employed the values of the Boy Scouts to help keep him on track. Before graduating from Moorpark High in the spring, Duffy made Eagle Scout, the highest rank attainable in scouting.

“I don’t know if I’ve been changed because of scouting, but I know I’ve taken different paths than other kids,” he said.

Oxnard’s Monica Sanchez says she has leaned on the guidance of her parents and religious training to do the right thing.

Seeking to further surround herself with friends who share her values, she joined Teens Alive, a countywide program aimed at battling teen-age drug use, pregnancy and other problems by promoting positive values such as honesty, respect and responsibility.

“There are a lot of kids out there who don’t seem to have any morals or values,” said the senior at St. Bonaventure High in Ventura. “Sometimes it feels that there are more of them than there are of me. But I can see how everything in my life is affected by my beliefs.”

It is no accident that these kids, and countless others, have been able to build an enduring system of values. At the root are parents trying hard to hand down morals to their children.

Still, according to the Times Poll, 39% of parents surveyed said they believe that simply by raising their children in Ventura County, they will have a stronger moral base than if they had been raised elsewhere.

Roland and Lois Hudgins moved from Gardena to Moorpark about seven years ago in search of a better place to raise their daughters Deanna, 13, and Jennifer, 10.

As a bonus, they found that the safe cities and good schools that lured them here also lured parents like them.

“The people who have moved out here are looking for the same things,” Lois Hudgins said. “I feel that a lot of the families have the same values we have, the same morals. They are bringing up their children the same way we are.”

Of course, the desire to foster values in children isn’t limited to traditional two-parent families, but extends to a variety of homes where parents have a common goal of producing good kids.

For Ann Roman of Westlake, the drive to teach her three children to do the right thing has little to do with the fact that she is a single parent.

“It might make it tougher in that I don’t have someone standing behind me with that extra authority,” said Roman, who has been divorced for four years. “But I don’t think it matters whether there are two parents in the home or not. It’s my job, married or single, to teach my children the difference between right and wrong.”

And teach she has, laying a moral foundation for her children that tickles their conscience whenever they get in a tough spot.

“I always used to say, ‘When you’re in doubt if something is right or wrong, stop and think of me. Say OK, would Mom be angry if I did this or would she be pleased?’ ” Roman said. “It has to come from the very beginning. You can’t start doing it when they are 16.”

Rick Papuzza, 34, of Ventura has a similar philosophy for raising his 16-year-old daughter, Lisa. Papuzza, who is gay, and his partner, Alfred Arsenault, raise the teen-ager the same way any other family would.

“We are just like any two parents,” Papuzza said. “We make her go to school; she has a curfew. Anyone who has kids, they want good things for their kids. They want them to do well, to have values.

“Especially these days, with drugs and the sex thing. It’s scary out there.”

While many parents seek to instill in youngsters a moral foundation based on religious beliefs, there are a lot of parents who steer clear of religion but who try just as hard to teach values to their children.

Norma Chotiner of Thousand Oaks said that although her family rarely attends religious services, she has been able to lay a moral foundation for her two children.

“You hope that by just keeping an eye on them, by trying to steer them in the right direction, that you instill a sense of values, that you teach them to be considerate of others,” she said. “You just hope that what you’ve tried to teach them sticks. Hopefully giving your approval or disapproval means something to them.”

For some kids, the absence of parental guidance and the cruel drift of peer pressure have combined to rip away the moral foundation, sending them into a tailspin of reckless behavior.

One 16-year-old Camarillo High student said her parents had no morals and certainly never tried to teach her any. They were hardly ever home. No one cared what she did or who she did it with.

So she started drinking in sixth grade. She took drugs and lost her virginity the next year. She slit her wrists in a failed attempt to kill herself.

“Deep down, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but at the time, I just didn’t care,” she said. “I needed somebody to be there for me. I needed somebody to take care of me, to love me.”

Surrounded by friends engaging in the same self-destructive behavior, she eventually stumbled across teachers and other mentors whom she credits with pulling her out of her nose-dive.

“Parents need to start holding their kids’ hands. Never let them cross the street by themselves or be home by themselves,” she said. “And be home for dinner, and sit down and do homework with your kids, and talk to them as much as possible and treat them as if they are the greatest person in the world. If you do those things, your kids will be OK.”

Recognizing that some children do not receive that kind of guidance at home, Ventura Unified School District officials launched a program aimed at building moral character by teaching such values as honesty, tolerance and respect.

“I wanted to know why kids weren’t getting along,” Supt. Joseph Spirito said of the 2-year-old program. “We were doing so well academically, but I wanted to know why they were fighting, why there were so many racial problems, so much intolerance.”

The character development program required schools to adopt a word each month--such as honesty , responsibility or cooperation --and incorporate it into the curriculum.

“It used to be a no-no to talk about these things,” Spirito said, referring to the thin line between teaching values and introducing a spiritual element into public education. “What we are doing is reaching back in the bag. We got away from something that worked, and we paid a heavy price for it.”

Over in Simi Valley, school board Trustee Norman Walker also favors a return to traditional values. Walker, a minister and former administrator of a private Baptist school, said he is not talking about Christian values, but rather teaching qualities that transcend religion, such as honesty, compassion and respect.

“In the ‘90s, we’re beginning to see that it’s not bad to teach values,” Walker said. “For some of these issues--I don’t care whether you’re Muslim, Buddhist or Shinto--we can agree that teaching our children certain values makes for a better society.”

Across Ventura County, in classrooms and churches and Scout meetings, the dialogue is wide open. There is a growing investment in the idea that a solid moral base can help cure such social ills as racism and violence.

That is why Jaime Becerra works with Boy Scouts in Oxnard’s La Colonia barrio, urging youngsters to steer clear of the influences of gangs and drugs.

“I’ve seen so many young lives destroyed,” he said. “And I know these boys have a real thirst for moral guidance.”

Jessica Bylo sees it too. That is why the 17-year-old senior at Buena High in Ventura volunteers with local Christian youth groups.

“The best way to keep kids on the right track,” she said, “is to get them involved with other kids who share the same values and morals, and who are struggling to keep them.”

From his place on the pulpit at St. Paul Baptist Church in Oxnard, the Rev. Broderick A. Huggins also sees the forces working against kids today, and he is not shy about exposing those to his flock.

“The problem with our society is that it has very little regard for children,” Huggins said recently, picking up steam in a powerful sermon that rose and fell like music.

On this Sunday at St. Paul, the largest African American church in Ventura County, parishioners were celebrating the annual Children’s Day. Dressed in crisp white shirts and dark blue pants and skirts, kids sang in the choir and acted as ushers.

They were treated as if they were the greatest people in the world.

“I want to talk today about keeping the child alive,” Huggins thundered. “By our standards, boys dress like little men. Girls dress, look and act like women. They know all about crime, dope and sex, and playing hooky and lewd music and getting into trouble and adult decadence. And they know very little or nothing about science, math or the Bible.

“They see everything we see, hear everything we hear and they try to do everything we are doing. And that is very tragic.”

* Next Sunday: Family life in Ventura County is threatened by increasing poverty and crime, and reduced funding for community services such as schools, parks and libraries. But experts say solutions can be found.

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VOICES: What do parents need to do to instill values in their children?

“I think parents need to give them some structure, some expectations. Then they need to put them in an environment that reinforces that structure, whether that be schools, churches or in their friendship circles.”

--Will Burke

Thousand Oaks resident

“I think they need to set an example for their children, and they need to start doing it while their children are young. Communication also has a lot to do with it. I think it’s important for parents to tell children what is expected of them, and to pay attention to them so that they know they are loved.”

--Monica Sanchez

Age 17, Oxnard resident

“I think parents need to rediscover their own values, and then unashamedly pass those on to their children. They should let their children know that there are things that are right and there are things that are wrong. I feel very strongly that parents really fail their children when they fail to pass on values.”

--Norman Walker

Simi Valley Unified School District trustee

“The first step is for parents to realize that they have primary responsibility for instilling values and a sense of morality in their children. To a large extent, parents are abdicating that responsibility. The terms mother and father do not describe a biological relationship, they describe a moral relationship between parents and children.”

--Michael Berk

Rabbi at Temple Beth Torah in Ventura.

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BY THE NUMBERS

Statistics that reflect on morality in Ventura County:

Total Teen-agers: 73,000

Estimated, 1995

Teen-agers as Percent of Residents: 10.1%

Statewide: 9.4%

Churches and Synagogues: 500

Estimated

Total Teen-age Mothers: 1,175