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Jock and Bobby and Miss Ellie Wouldn’t Like Him Either

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Dan Shaughnessy in the Boston Globe on why he didn’t want the Dallas Cowboys to defeat Green Bay last Sunday in the NFC championship game:

“The Cowboys are owned by the wealthy and insufferable Jerry Jones. A walking cliche, Jones gets his face in every photo, stalks the sideline, thumbs his nose at other NFL owners and plays the J.R. Ewing role better than Larry Hagman.

“He does pizza commercials with Deion Sanders. He makes Jerry Buss look like the late Walter Brown [former Boston Celtic owner]. You just know he lives in a house of mirrors and gets front-row seats for Wayne Newton.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the NBA record for most turnovers in a season:

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All aboard: Jay Leno, measuring the impact of changing Brendan Byrne Arena in the New Jersey Meadowlands to Continental Airlines Arena:

“All seats will be made smaller, leg room will be removed and all games will start 20 minutes late.”

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End of an era: Tom Landry, the former Dallas Cowboy coach, told Mike Klocke of the Fort Myers (Fla.) News-Press that he empathizes with Don Shula.

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“The days of Don Shulas, Tom Landrys and Chuck Nolls are over. There’s no question about it,” he said.

“There’s far too much money involved for someone to coach at the same place for a long time. If you win once, you’re expected to do it tomorrow. The owners are involved in everything. They’re even on the sidelines.”

One guess who that would be.

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White surprise: Mike Port, former Angel general manager and now an assistant general manager with the Boston Red Sox, on the recent weather conditions in the East:

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“When I took this job, everyone in California warned me that it would snow. What they didn’t tell me was the snow would stay.”

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Grudging admiration: Bill Lyon in the Philadelphia Inquirer: “Of all the things that are infuriating about Deion Sanders--and, oh my, they are beyond counting--the most infuriating is this:

“He’s good.

“Really, really good.

“Dammit.”

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TV-only option: Blackie Sherrod in the Dallas Morning News: “Almost criminal, this NFL charge of $350 for a Super Bowl ticket. Perhaps we should call it the Write-off Bowl, since few can afford to go unless at corporate expense.”

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FYI: If the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl XXX, they will tie the San Francisco 49ers for the best record in that game at 5-0.

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Looking back: On this day in 1971, rookie Jim O’Brien kicked a 32-yard field goal in the closing seconds, giving the Baltimore Colts a 16-13 victory over the Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl V in Miami. It was the first game matching NFC and AFC champions after the merger of the NFL and AFL.

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Trivia answer: Artis Gilmore of the Chicago Bulls, with 366 in 1977-78.

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Quotebook: Former Phoenix Sun coach Paul Westphal upon hearing that his friend Rush Limbaugh’s radio program is aired twice a day in San Francisco: “There’s hope for this town.”

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