Trouble Knows Where to Find the Rams
Life in an NFL-free zone can be a beautiful thing . . .
* “Rams Make Convicted Assault-and-Batterer Their No. 1 Draft Pick.” “Georgia Defends Selection of Convicted Assault-and-Batterer--’If It Helps Our Team, That’s All I Care About.’ ” “Rams’ Top Two Picks Oversleep, Miss First Day of Mini-Camp.” Yes, the Rams have gone to a better place. Better St. Louis than here, any way you care to slice it.
* The STaLinist purge of Anaheim Rams continues, coldly, efficiently. Sean Gilbert is shipped to Washington. Jerome Bettis is dispatched to Pittsburgh. Chris Miller is advised to remove himself from the situation, if he knows what’s good for him. Jackie Slater, a fixture for nearly two decades, suddenly disappears. Troy Drayton awaits his deportation papers any week now. They knew what it was like to play in front of jaded, disillusioned fans who expected more from their team than eight home dates a year and Color That Ram newspaper crayon contests. They knew too much.
* Suppose the Rams were still here. Lawrence Phillips--new franchise cornerstone and ambassador for the community. Ably assisted by the hands-on, visionary ownership of Georgia Frontiere. Phillips, on his unique method of escorting a girlfriend down three flights of stairs: “Everybody has a slip-up.” Georgia, defending her man, says the Ram coaches have assured her that Phillips “was very happy and sounded like a very nice man.” This was after Georgia was spotted on national TV manning the Rams draft phones and informing ESPN’s Craig James that he probably “makes more money than Eric Dickerson now.” Orange County, it could have been all yours.
* The Jets, Jaguars, Cardinals, Ravens (yes, even the Ravens) and Giants all passed on Phillips, but the Rams bit because, according to John Shaw, the Rams are a benevolent organization that believes in giving people “a second chance.” Especially people who average 6.2 yards a carry.
* Shaw is right; the Rams have a long tradition with these second chances. Gerald Perry, Daryl Henley, Lawrence Phillips--with the Rams, if you can block, run or tackle, you’re not guilty even if you have been proven guilty.
* Suppose the Rams were still here. Consider the many lesser headaches--such as, where to play? Anaheim Stadium, undergoing reconstruction this fall, would be unavailable. Titan Stadium? A possibility, although it seats 10,000. But the Rams could always tarp off a few sections, make the place look like it was filled.
* If not the Rams, there was, if briefly, the threat of the Seahawks. Team Trial Pending. Mr. Phillips’ neighborhood, if only they could have traded up. Soon to be the NFL’s only team with a media guide that features two pictures of every player--front view and side view.
* The threat was only snuffed when Ken Behring agreed in principle to sell the C-Block Hawks to Microsoft’s Paul Allen, who has promised to keep the franchise in Seattle. This earned Allen immediate acclaim as a savior in Seattle. To say nothing about Orange County.
* Meanwhile, the old football stadiums here are staying busy. Anaheim Stadium prepares to house the Angels’ latest nervous breakdown. The Coliseum has been booking magic acts to convince the NFL it can be state-of-the-art with the snap of two fingers, just like that. And the Rose Bowl attracts nearly 110,000 fans to back-to-back football games. The Rams and the Raiders seldom accomplished that while they were here. But when were the Rams or the Raiders ever 3-0, as the L.A. Galaxy of Major League Soccer are?
* Of course, the Galaxy has something going for it the Rams of the early ‘90s never did. It scores.
* Three consecutive 2-1 victories for the Galaxy, including last Sunday’s narrow escape against the best-named team in sports, the San Jose Clash. (Still waiting for Joe Strummer to sing the national anthem before a Clash game.) The Galaxy played entertaining, dominant up-and-down soccer for 75 minutes, then held its breath as San Jose’s Eric Wynalda banged the goalpost on a free kick with 30 seconds left. Fun stuff, buoyant crowd, everything but a halftime show. (A Frisbee-catching dog? Oh, how NASL . . .) Love the mid-game P.A. plugs for the “official” menudo and jalapeno of the L.A. Galaxy, too.
* Pasadena gets big-league soccer, Anaheim gets . . . the Clippers? The rumors of a permanent move to the Pond have never been hotter or heavier, NBA Commissioner David Stern is pushing hard for it, but remember the words of the ancient philosopher: One who holds breath waiting for Donald Sterling to do what is right becomes dizzy, turns blue and falls down.
* If Tom Lewis is the front-runner to become Wayne Morgan’s second assistant coach at Long Beach State, Pat Barrett as 49er team nutritionist can’t be far behind.
* Stanley Cup playoff update: Kings idle again tonight, Wayne Gretzky begins Western Conference semifinals with St. Louis Blues. Repeat after me: Sam McMaster made a brilliant trade . . .
* Stanley Cup second-round matchups: Detroit-St. Louis. Colorado-Chicago. Philadelphia-Florida. Pittsburgh-New York. To put it another way: Oh-for-Canada. In hockey, everyone’s dreams don’t come true, but on occasion, Gary Bettman gets one right.