Bad legal opinionOn the ground at Santa...

Bad legal opinion

On the ground at Santa Monica Airport, Bob Tur heard the screeching of tires and a nearby automobile collision. Tur, the reporter-pilot for KCBS-TV and KNX radio, is also a certified emergency medical technician. So he went to the scene to see if anyone needed assistance. While he was talking to a woman in one car, a man who had been involved in the accident emerged from another car. The male motorist evidently was alarmed by Tur’s suit and tie.

“What are you asking questions for?” the man barked to Tur. “What are you--a lawyer?”

OR DOES THE PUTTY HOLD THE EGGS TOGETHER? Don Cunningham spotted a marquee that seems to link a rather fragile product to Earthquake Awareness Month.

OF BROADCASTERS AND TRASH CANS: With the 11th annual Pacific Coast League reunion on deck--it’s May 18 in Carson--writer Jay Berman reminisced about his guest shot as a radio broadcaster for the old Hollywood Stars. All one-half inning of it.

Because he was a high school journalist, Berman was given a chance by KFWB radio to work a 1957 Stars game that happened to be in Sacramento. Of course, he never left L.A. In those days, announcers re-created the action of road games in the studio, guided by a pitch-by-pitch account that they received on a ticker tape. They supplied the sound effects themselves.

“I seem to remember that the tape said ‘F-7,’ ” Berman said. “There was a bat hanging in the studio and so I hit it with the plastic end of a screwdriver and announced that the batter flied out to left field.”

The Stars’ regular broadcaster, meanwhile, mimicked the background sound of the public address announcer by speaking each batter’s name into a trash can in the studio.

Alas, Berman’s scheduled half-inning went quickly. Three batters up, three batters down. Berman, who will be one of the speakers at the PCL reunion (information: (714) 524-0939), didn’t make much of an impression on the Stars’ broadcaster.

“At first he called me ‘Jay Berman from Marshall High,’ ” Berman recalled. “Then I was ‘Jerry Berman from Marshall High.’ Then I was ‘Jerry Marshall’ when he said goodbye. I said, ‘Jay Berman,’ and he said, ‘Thanks again, Jerry Marshall.’ ”

SEASONAL HUMOR: This being spring, Carol Harrison of L.A. sent along a prized possession--a page from an old L.A. phone directory that carried an ad asking, “Ready for your annual spring-cleaning? Just above the ad was a listing for “Colonic Therapy.”

SPEAKING OF MOVEMENTS: Signals mail-order catalog carries a T-shirt with a slogan that we believe would be supported here by the earthquake-aware.

It says: STOP PLATE TECTONICS.

miscelLAny:

The recent death of Paul Compton prompted former Times columnist Don Page to recall his favorite quote from the longtime local disc jockey. Compton, whose show featured a lot of romantic ballads by Frank Sinatra and others, once told Page: “My job, by the end of the show, is to get you to reach for a glass of chablis--while you both get into bed.”