Two too lateThe license plate on the...

Two too late

The license plate on the car in the Beverly Hills parking lot said: THRDWFE. Maybe that’s why No. 3 had a Honda, not a Mercedes.

WHO SAYS L.A.’S WEATHER IS BORING? On the KNBC newscast at halftime of the Bulls-Knicks playoff game Sunday, weather-caster Paul Johnson was finishing his segment when the five-day forecast flashed on the screen.

Talk about a cold wave. Channel 4’s chart indicated that the low for Tuesday in L.A. would be zero.

You had to be paying attention to catch it, though. Johnson, old pro that he is, quickly moved in front of the faulty figure, blocking it from view like Dennis Rodman screening out a rival rebounder.

EUPHEMISMS R US: Some sales terms for used children’s clothing, as advertised in Kidsguide, a Long Beach-based magazine:

* “Gently used clothing.”

* “Precious repeats.”

* “Little ones’ reruns.”

* “Resale clothing.”

* “Outgrown clothing.”

* “Slightly used clothing.”

* “Sweet seconds.”

BOTTLED WATER, BOTTLED WATER, EVERYWHERE: “I grew up in the San Gabriel Valley (the OTHER Valley),” writes Albert Rowuin, “so you could imagine my surprise when I came across a product named ‘Alhambra’ being sold in a Petaluma Safeway. . . . The product is bottled water.”

The label says the water comes from wells in the cities of Los Angeles, Santa Ana and Lakeside. It’s bottled in Pasadena.

And the Alhambra connection?

Dunno.

When Tom Shea of the Alhambra Chamber of Commerce tried to buy some cases of the stuff to give away at the city’s annual 8-K race, he discovered that it is only sold in Northern California.

YOU CAN’T EXPECT CHANGE OVERNIGHT: Writer Angela Fox Dunn complained repeatedly to an overnight delivery service that she didn’t want to be hassled for a signature each time a package arrived. Finally, she received a card that said: “Thank you for your patience. The signature-release problems have been elevated.”

Adds Dunn: “Fine, but I hope the problems can be eliminated, too.”

IF THE PRICE IS TOO HIGH, YOU MUST NOT BUY: Tickets to a Johnnie Cochran speech at DAR Constitutional Hall in Washington “weren’t moving well at $35 to $100 per,” the Washington Post reports. Sales perked up a bit when the ducats were marked down to the $20 to $35 range. As for Cochran’s appeal, the Post observed, the capital is “a town full of clever lawyers.”

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We can’t figure which movie we’re most looking forward to seeing: “Dead Man Walking,” starring Sean Penn and Susan Sarandon; “Dead Man’s Walk,” the TV version of the Larry McMurtry novel, or “Dead Man,” starring Johnny Depp. Whatever, pass the popcorn and the Alhambra.