They Could Run Show as Well as Current Guy

Now that the baseball labor dispute is nearly settled, it is apparent that the major leagues will have a new commissioner before the end of the century. . . .

During his Hall of Fame induction speech recently, Kentucky Congressman Jim Bunning said the game needed a “real” commissioner. . . .

Bunning might fit the description. . . .

But maybe what the game needs more is an unreal commissioner. . . .

David Letterman is a candidate because he could draw up a terrific list of 10 ways to improve the sport. . . .

Michael Jordan because he has paid his dues in the minor leagues. . . .

Pete Rose because he would place himself on the Hall of Fame ballot. . . .

Jane Fonda because she realizes that even postseason games can put you to sleep. . . .

Michael Chiklis because he has so much experience as the Commish. . . .

Howard Stern because people named Stern make good commissioners. . . .

Albert Belle because he has so much clout. . . .

Wayne Gretzky because he is heading to New York and needs a summer job. . . .

Princess Diana because she needs a new title now that she has left the Royals. . . .

Woody Allen because baseball could go from Selig to Zelig. . . .

And last, but not least, Marge Schott because her role in baseball should be reduced even more. . . .

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The managers of the three last-place teams in the National League--Dusty Baker of San Francisco, Jim Leyland of Pittsburgh and Jim Fregosi of Philadelphia--all are former managers of the year. . . .

It is time to start considering Seattle’s sophomore shortstop, Alex Rodriguez, for the American League most valuable player award. . . .

I know of three Southern California teams that should try to sign Minnesota second baseman Chuck Knoblauch when he becomes a free agent after this season. . . .

Hard to believe as it may be, eight consecutive Dodger games, starting with last Friday’s at Cincinnati and ending with Thursday’s against Montreal at Dodger Stadium, are being televised locally. . . .

The new name of Candlestick Park, whatever it is, doesn’t seem to be catching on in San Francisco. . . .

The averages in last Sunday’s newspaper showed a staggering amount of American League players, 42, hitting .300 or better. . . .

Look-alikes: U.S. Olympic team runner Suzy Hamilton and actress Sharon Stone. . . .

USC’s offensive line has tremendous potential, but is so young and inexperienced that it might not be ready for the challenge presented by Penn State on Aug. 25. . . .

The Trojans aren’t lacking size in the interior. Seven tackles or guards weigh at least 300 pounds. . . .

Pacific 10 Conference officials worked the USC scrimmage at Cal State Fullerton on Saturday night and weren’t hesitant to call penalties. . . .

An early-season game with national championship, Southeastern Conference and Heisman Trophy implications will be Florida at Tennessee on Sept. 21, matching quarterbacks Danny Wuerffel of the Gators and Peyton Manning of the Volunteers. . . .

Charger radio announcer Lee Hamilton during San Diego’s overtime loss to San Francisco: “You’ve heard of games that neither team deserves to lose. This is one that neither team deserves to win.” . . .

Emmitt Smith deserves every million he’s getting from the Dallas Cowboys. . . .

In retrospect, Tommy Maddox, who was drafted in 1992 by the Denver Broncos, should have stayed not one, but two more years at UCLA. . . .

Dare And Go’s purse for winning the Pacific Classic on Saturday at Del Mar was $600,000. Runner-up Cigar got $200,000, but Luthier Fever got $500,000 as a performance bonus and another $20,000 for finishing fifth in a six-horse field. . . .

Louisville staged the PGA Championship in such terrific fashion that it’s a shame that either Kentuckian Kenny Perry or Russ Cochran didn’t win. . . .

Louisville has been awarded the PGA again in 2000. . . .

L.A., which staged the event last year, probably won’t get it again until 3000. . . .

Bet Arantxa Sanchez Vicario to place in her next tennis tournament.