New Year’s resolution No. 1:C’mon, you know...

New Year’s resolution No. 1:

C’mon, you know the one we’re talking about. Let’s be more careful when you take out your checkbooks in 1997, OK, Angelenos? In his new book, “The Bankers: The Next Generation,” author Martin Mayer says that 1 out of every 34 checks written in L.A. bounces--about three times the national average.

HEY--EVERYONE’S ENTITLED TO ONE BUM PREDICTION: Who could have foreseen that one of the businesses that would go under in 1996 would be a psychic’s shop? Not the psychic, evidently. Fortunately, reader Janet Salter of Beverly Hills was there with her camera to verify the odd occurrence.

CONVENIENT LOCATION, AT LEAST: One of the eateries on the list of restaurants closed in November for health violations was Plaza Deli and Grill, located at 100 UCLA Medical Plaza.

DUH! AWARDS (CONT.): Doreen Kotsovolos has an addition to our list of strange cautionary statements on product labels--a package of children’s clay that says, “Not for use as earplugs.”

Not even by the parents?

THEY WERE GOING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: Art Vinsel of San Pedro writes that a few days before Christmas he visited the local post office and found himself in line next to a man holding “a cardboard box in which rested several smaller, very sturdy cardboard boxes, all securely taped. They carried mailing labels with the Neptune Society logo prominently displayed. That purveyor of ‘cremains’ is about a block and a half down the street.”

Vinsel said that after that experience it was a bit tough to “bear the image of chestnuts roasting by an open fire.”

CITY OF VARIOUS ANGELS: John Travolta and Denzel Washington play angels in current movies. Artist Jill D’Agnenica set out thousands of plaster seraphs in public places around town as a performance piece. And several books have recently been written about the winged messengers, who are definitely in vogue.

But being a real-live Angel can be trying. We’re reminded of a story from Angel Barragan about the time he found a purse in a Westside store where he worked.

The owner’s phone number was inside the purse and Barragan phoned her. The first two times he reached her, she hung up. The third time, he persuaded her to stay on the line and she eventually thanked--and apologized to--him.

Barragan says that in retrospect he understood her attitude. After all, it was Halloween time. “I might have hung up myself,” Barragan said, “if someone had called and said, ‘Hi, my name is Angel and I’m calling from Heaven.’ ”

Heaven was the name of the store where Angel worked.

LOOKS LIKE A WARMER-THAN-USUAL YEAR: So what type of cinematic mayhem is store for L.A. in 1997? No need to consult a psychic. “ ‘Volcano’ erupts in L.A. . . . and in movie theaters nationwide in 1997,” says the blurb for “Volcano,” which is about a lava flow that destroys Wilshire Boulevard. Its slogan: “The Coast Is Toast.” And a brochure on the film shows a scene in which a worker, wearing what appears to be a Metro Rail hat, is running for his life. Just the kind of publicity the Metropolitan Transportation Authority needs.

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When Richard Nixon was grand marshal of the Tournament of Roses in 1960, the parade theme was “Tall Tales and True.”