Well, Muddy Field Just Doesn’t Have the Same Ring

The late John Facenda of NFL Films and, lately, ESPN’s Chris Berman, have made “The Frozen Tundra” synonymous with Green Bay’s Lambeau Field.

But a heating system beneath the turf keeps the field at 65 degrees, unless there’s a dip toward extreme arctic temperatures.

Said grounds supervisor Todd Edelbeck: “So many announcers say frozen tundra as the mud is flying up. The mud wouldn’t be flying up if the ground was frozen.”

By the way, “frozen tundra” is redundant. The dictionary definition of tundra is a treeless area of arctic regions with a subsoil that is permanently frozen.

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Trivia time: When was the last time USC and UCLA were ranked No. 1 in the weekly Associated Press college football poll?

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Short supply: From Jay Leno: “According to a new sports survey, the most-used name for college football teams is ‘Tigers.’ Anybody know the least-used name for college football? ‘Graduates.’ ”

The winner is. . . : So which NBA team got the best of the blockbuster trade involving Jason Kidd, Dallas or Phoenix? Denver Nugget Coach Dick Motta suggests a way of determining it:

“We should all take $50 and put the money in an envelope and say who we think got the best of it, and then open the envelope in two years and see who won.”

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No argument: Recalling a newspaper poll that overwhelmingly favored not keeping Laker star Shaquille O’Neal in Orlando, Peter Vescey of the New York Post wrote, “The Orlando Sentinel took a poll and 95% of the readers agreed the Magic were 2-10 in December.”

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Frisky septuagenarian: Penn State Coach Joe Paterno recently turned 70, but he can still demonstrate in practice to his players what needs to be done.

“Every once in a while I let them know what a great athlete I was. I enjoy that,” Paterno jokingly told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

However, Paterno is well aware that he still holds Brown University’s lifetime record for throwing interceptions.

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Incompatible: A prediction by Joe Gergen of Newsday for the new year: “Mike Keenan is appointed coach of Team Canada for the 1998 Olympics in Nagano, leading Wayne Gretzky to press for U.S. citizenship.”

FYI: In case you missed it, White Bronco, ridden by Laffit Pincay, finished fifth in a six-horse race Friday at Santa Anita. Merely another slow speed chase.

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Trivia answer: USC was ranked No. 1 on Oct. 6, 1981, and UCLA was top ranked on Oct. 25, 1988.

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And finally: After England lost by 131 runs to host Zimbabwe, a member of the British parliament called for the cricket tour to be abandoned.

“I am ashamed of the England team,” said Conservative Terry Dicks. “They should be brought home in disgrace. I would sack the management and half the team. I have never been so ashamed to be English.”