‘We Need to Rescue Kids From Ebonics’

There are children who go around biting other children. Should our response be to legalize and institutionalize cannibalism and hand out bottles of ketchup?

I am one of the most liberal people in the world. And I am all for black pride. I am not just a freedom talker; I am a freedom fighter. But I say no to Ebonics.

When I was growing up, what is now being euphemistically called Ebonics was accurately called bad English. I have the greatest respect for linguistic diversity. I speak English, Spanish and French. If I hadn’t learned Spanish growing up in Los Angeles, I would not have survived my sojourn in Cuba. And I survived Algeria and France because I speak French. At the same time, I insist that as U.S. citizens, we must put English first and uphold a standard of excellence. I understand and applaud cultural and linguistic diversity, but I reject all arguments that carry political correctness to the extreme of promoting anything other than English as our official language.

I believe that schoolchildren should be required to study foreign languages, particularly Spanish, but not to the detriment of their mastery and excelling in English.

The thirst for exclusivity and recognition is often misguided, as it is in this instance. It is like Jesse Jackson running down the street naked, screaming “I am a man! I am somebody!” Thanks for telling us. We never would have noticed.

The only place for Ebonics is the streets. We don’t need it in the classroom; we need to rescue kids from Ebonics, the illegitimate offspring of the shotgun wedding of ebony and phonics. African Americans are linguistically creative and have enriched the English language. But Ebonics is the opposite of creative. It is a pathetic attempt to institutionalize dysfunction and to establish an idol.

Begone, you poots. And you teachers of Ebonics, get a real job teaching something with a redeeming social value. Stop flaunting your ignorance.