Couple Turn Wedding Day Into a Benefit

There wasn’t a festively wrapped blender or toaster oven in sight as guests gathered in Malibu to watch Karen Ehrlich and Gary Krane get married.

Instead of wedding gifts, the couple asked friends to bring checks made out to one of a dozen local charities as they exchanged vows on a mountaintop overlooking the ocean.

But while such groups as Free Arts for Abused Children and the L.A. Coalition to End Homelessness were delighted, some of those attending Sunday afternoon’s rites didn’t know what to make of such a radical break with tradition.

“I wanted to buy them something to help make their house a home,” said Pam Baron, a Northridge resident who is a friend of the bride.

Confided Seattle resident Bernie Krane, brother of the groom: “I felt a little uncomfortable. I felt manipulated.”

The unusual gift request struck a responsive chord with others in the wedding crowd of 80 that gathered off Piuma Road, however.

“It’s something other couples should consider,” said guest Lori Halley of Granada Hills. “I may do it myself when I get married.”

Added Jane Vowels of Van Nuys: “Maybe they don’t need Waterford crystal or silver. Maybe Karen and Gary didn’t need that sort of thing.”

Charitable donations in lieu of gifts are not a new idea, of course. Guests at birthday parties or wedding anniversaries are often asked to contribute to the charity of their choice. Some are asked for donations of canned food for missions or shelters.

More unique is a couple’s own list of acceptable charities. In the case of Ehrlich and Krane, their recommendations leaned toward groups benefiting the poor and oppressed.

“I give them credit. It takes a lot of guts,” said Wendy Wendlandt, a director of California Public Interest Research Group, a political reform-minded organization that was on their list. “Asking people on your wedding day to help change the world isn’t the usual thing to do.”

Krane, 49, a part-time teacher and aspiring family television producer from Sherman Oaks, has never been married. He said he was taught by his mother, 89-year-old Rhea Krane of Minneapolis, to be a political activist.

The previously married Ehrlich, 44, a teacher at Hazeltine Avenue Elementary School in Van Nuys, said she is a more recent convert to such activism.

So eyebrows were raised among her relatives when the please-write-a-check invitations went out.

“I was surprised . . . there’s nothing wrong with having pretty things,” said her mother, Irene Ehrlich of Las Vegas. “My sister was shocked. She wanted to give Karen something.”

Krane’s brother and sister-in-law agreed.

Said Bernie Krane’s wife of 32 years, Paige: “Seriously, when we got the invitation we thought, ‘You’ve got to be kidding.’ But this was their day. We brought them a certified check they can write in the name of the charity they want.”

Except for the check-collection basket with the sign reading “A Wedding for Just Cause,” Sunday’s was a traditional Jewish wedding, complete with a rabbi and the ceremonial breaking of the drinking glass at the end.

As for Ehrlich and Krane, they plan to send the checks--ranging from $20 to $200--to the wedding-day charities this week. And Monday they were already looking ahead.

Their first anniversary might be the perfect opportunity for another party, they said. But no gifts, please.