Cubs Were Much More Fun When They Were Losing

Now that the Chicago Cubs have gained a measure of respectability by winning some games after an 0-14 start, let’s not forget the bad old days.

During the slump, Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote: “There was a near-collision at home plate in the Cubs’ last game. One of their bats almost hit a ball.”

And this from Jay Leno: “Today the Cubs instilled a new pitching machine for batting practice--and it beat them, 4-1.”

If the Cubs go in the tank again, perhaps they can threaten the National League record of the 1906 Boston Beaneaters, who finished 66 1/2 games behind--are you ready?--the first-place Cubs!

Trivia time: Six players share the NBA playoff record for steals in a game with eight. One player did it twice. Who is he?

Hug factor: Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post says the Bullets are clearly better than their first-round NBA playoff opponent, the Chicago Bulls, in at least one area: hugging.

“[Chris] Webber and [Juwan] Howard are becoming the Stuart Smalleys of the NBA,” he wrote. “We haven’t seen this kind of hugging since Magic [Johnson] and Isiah [Thomas]. (Oh, come on, we kid because we love.) You hardly ever see [Michael] Jordan hug [Dennis] Rodman. Much of the time it seems like No. 23 is leery to even touch Rodman for fear he’s contagious.”

Pray for rain: Reader Sid Skolnik recalls that during the 1940s, the Chicago White Sox would consider it a successful season if they finished in sixth or seventh place.

After winning their first two games one season, inclement weather forced postponement of five consecutive games, at which time White Sox Manager Jimmy Dykes chortled: “One hundred fifty-two more days of rain and we’re in!”

Wishful thinking: New Jersey Net forward Jayson Williams, describing his role in an upcoming movie, “The Prophet”: “I’ve got 35 lines. I don’t know what it’s about, but I hope I have some [love] scenes.”

Rocket choo-choo: Charles Barkley is already playing mind games in preparation for Houston’s opening-round NBA playoff series against Minnesota starting tonight:

Barkley reportedly said: “There’s a train coming down the track and it’s going to run over the Timberwolves.”

Looking back: On this day in 1962, Sandy Koufax struck out 18 in the Dodgers’ 10-2 victory over the Cubs at Wrigley Field.

Looking back again: On this day in 1992, Utah’s John Stockton had 21 assists as the Jazz defeated the Clippers, 115-97, at Salt Lake City in the opening round of the NBA playoffs.

Trivia answer: Tim Hardaway, while playing for Golden State in 1991 against the Lakers and in 1992 against Seattle.

And finally: San Diego Padre broadcaster Jerry Coleman said the Pittsburgh Pirates’ payroll is “the lowest in the history of major league baseball. At least this year.”