For Lisa Germano, Examining Love Gone Wrong Is Therapeutic

Why do bad relationships happen to good people? Lisa Germano is a singer-songwriter, not a pop psychologist, but she’s addressed that question repeatedly over the course of her four-album solo career.

“It all stems from not knowing yourself, or not loving yourself,” the 37-year-old multi-instrumentalist said by phone from a hotel room in Fort Worth. “If you keep falling in love with someone who mistreats you . . . or if you know someone is lying to you and you just let it go, then there’s something wrong there. It comes down to not thinking you deserve to be treated well.”

The protagonists in her songs frequently aren’t. She sums up her take on the phenomenon in “Forget it it’s a Mystery,” from her latest album, “Excerpts From a Love Circus”: “I liked it when you hurt me / Forget it it’s a mystery.”

Feelings of self-loathing, some bordering on the masochistic, crawl to the surface several times in the “Love Circus” album.

“Music has been a sort of catharsis therapy for me,” said Germano, who will be accompanied by bassist Glenn Hicks at the Coach House tonight. “I think any kind of creative endeavor is therapy, whether it’s art and music, or cooking and gardening.” She lists the latter two among her passions when she’s not making music.

She’s had more time for those other pursuits lately, at least in part because she’s been happier than in the past.

“It’s important for me to write my thoughts down. In the past, I’ve written from a place of confusion, and a real need to reach out and say these things to other people. Although right now I’m not particularly depressed, so I’m not writing much these days. And that does feel weird to me.”

Germano grew up in rural Indiana, the fourth of six children. Her mother was a teacher and her father played in the Chicago Symphony, so it was no surprise when Germano began playing the violin at age 7. By her teens, she was playing in local rock and bluegrass bands.

*

But when she got married at 20, she stopped playing entirely, worked in a bakery and became clinically depressed. She later divorced, but with the aid of therapy to overcome the depression and one big break, Germano was playing music again by the early 1980s.

While playing fiddle in a country bar band, she met Kenny Aronoff, the drummer in John Mellencamp’s band. Through Aronoff, she was recruited to play on the B-side of a single from his “Scarecrow” album. After that, she joined Mellencamp’s band for his “Lonesome Jubilee” and “Big Daddy” albums and tours.

The legacy of that experience isn’t what she might have hoped.

“I can’t tell you anything that irritates me more in this whole business than being called ‘John Mellencamp’s fiddler,’ ” she said. “I have four records out that [sound] nothing like John’s music.

“It’s probably one of the biggest things [that threatens] to ruin my solo career. Someone who might enjoy my music won’t listen to it because they think I’m some country fiddle player.”

*

She’s happy, however, about her current label, 4AD. She says the independent, Los Angeles-based 4AD has faith in her creative vision and treats her as an individual.

“It’s unbelievable how these major labels are wasting all this money trying to clone big-selling bands,” said Germano, who also plays the guitar, mandolin and piano. “Ya know, like who’ll be the next No Doubt? I mean, who cares?”

“4AD is like a gift from heaven. Everyone there supports and respects art--they’re a very human label. They understand my quest to be myself, and that we’re all special only because we’re different.”

* Lisa Germano, Melissa Ferrick and Rainy Day Stone appear tonight at the Coach House, 33157 Camino Capistrano, San Juan Capistrano. 8 p.m. $10-$12. (714) 496-8930.