Fish story:Ron Witherspoon of Brentwood received a...

Fish story:

Ron Witherspoon of Brentwood received a BYOF invitation to a party. Upon further investigation, he found out that BYOF means Bring Your Own Fish but does not refer to sushi or creatures for the barbecue.

The hosts want live, tropical fish.

They’re “stocking a used, 50-gallon tank they recently purchased and restored,” he said. “They figured throwing a party was the best way to do it.”

Witherspoon adds: “Gotta wonder what they’ll do when it’s time to interior decorate.”

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SOME JOLTING ADVICE: The TV ads for a local production of “Showboat” highlight one endorsement, from the New York Times. It says:

“A Seismic Event!”

We don’t know about you, but, living in Southern California, we try to avoid seismic events.

Then, again, maybe the blurb means that the prices for the show will make you quake.

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L.A. DISASTER BOOK OF THE MONTH CLUB SELECTION: Our latest offering is “Richter 10,” by Arthur C. Clarke and Mike McQuay, about a seismologist who knows how to predict and prevent quakes if only someone will listen.

It’s set in 2024. No, the Big Seismic Event hasn’t occurred yet. But L.A. has other problems.

“Every horizontal surface--buildings, billboards, walls and vehicles” has outdoor TV screens. Skyscrapers assume “the veneer of life as huge videos [fill] all the 20 and 30 stories of them.”

The screens are intended “mostly to keep occupied” those people who are “waiting in huge lines for basic necessities.” The idea is that the giant videos will divert them from realizing that the infrastructure has become “shaky at best. Dingy apartments, chronic food shortages . . . lousy wages . . . “

How bad can life be with free cable?

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WHICH REMINDS US: Where can you find some of the longest lines in town? Outside movie theaters, of course. We’ve always wondered why the theaters don’t show coming attractions on the sides of their buildings for the benefit of the poor souls standing on the sidewalk. We’d even settle for mimes.

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FUTURE SHOCK: In need of relief from visions of disasters, we came upon the “Mapping Out L.A.’s Future” exhibit on the Henry P. Rio Bridge, which connects City Hall and City Hall East.

So what did we find? Maps showing the earthquake faults of L.A., the county’s “liquefaction susceptibility,” the L.A. River’s “100-Year Flood Zone,” “pollution runoff” from storms on the Westside, and the extent of the 1996 fire in Calabasas.

That’s enough future for today.

miscelLAny:

Raging Waters in San Dimas is looking for a couple willing to be married June 14 at the park atop a 100-foot-tall platform. After taking the figurative plunge, man and wife will immediately toboggan head-first “down 600-foot-long open flumes with splash guards, banking and rocking off turns for an exhilarating ride of up to 35 mph, before hydroplaning to a stop across a 65-foot splash pool.” Not an easy target for the rice.