Finding Fault With a Phone Message

When the Sierra Madre earthquake struck in 1991, supervisors and managers in the former Rapid Transit District’s offices picked up their red emergency phones and heard these taped instructions: “We are all doomed. Drop your pants and kiss your ass goodbye.” RTD officials termed the stunt “a poor practical joke” and suspended the culprit.

FREEWAY SIGN TRANSPLANT: Traveling east on the Santa Monica Freeway one day, Paul Rayton noticed that the overhead sign said, SACRAFIELD (see photo). A Caltrans worker had apparently installed a section of another sign.

A few days after the item appeared in this column, a woman phoned to say she saw a sign on the San Diego Freeway that said, BAKERSMENTO.

CRUELEST DOOR IN THE SOUTHLAND: Jane Benz of Tarzana snapped a sign on a door that seemed to love little kids even less than W. C. Fields did (see photo).

LIST OF THE DAY: A survey of Angelenos a few years ago found that:

* The average man carried $1.95 in coins while the average woman had $4.01 in coins.

* An estimated 548,000 Southern Californians purchased backpacking equipment in a 12-month period. About 220,000 of them never took the stuff out of the closet.

* An estimated 43% of Angelenos rose before 6 a.m., compared to 28% nationally. Half skipped breakfast at home. The number who dined on the freeway was not known.

ONLY BOARD MEMBER: How many members of the Beach Boys singing group actually surfed, according to “The New Book of Rock Lists”? One: Dennis Wilson.

STUPID CRIMINAL TRICKS: “Happiness is Being a Grandparent,” said the license plate frame on a Chevrolet spotted by Long Beach police. Odd thing was that the passengers were six youths--ages 13 to 17. After pulling them over, police determined that the car had been--surprise!--stolen.

TWO STRIKE PARK: The La Crescenta park, whose sign was snapped by Greg Horbachevsky (see photo), was named long before the passage of three-strikes legislation against repeat offenders.

It dates back half a century, according to La Crescenta librarian Mary Jones. Actor Dennis Morgan, honorary mayor at the time, wanted to get kids off the streets. He felt “that any child who had to play in the street had two strikes against him, and the third strike could be getting hit by a car,” Jones said.

So Morgan organized a series of ballgames with celebrities and star athletes that helped raise the funds to build Two Strike Park.

CHICKEN ON ICE: The city of Inglewood made it illegal to toss objects that cause a “disruption of sports and/or entertainment events” at public arenas after Kings hockey fans threw live chickens onto the ice. The ban also forbids fans from throwing live Kings players onto the ice.

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The surfing term “cowabunga” was first popularized on “The Howdy Doody Show,” a kids’ TV program in the the ‘50s. The term had nothing to do with surfing then. In fact, the show’s producers say it was a nonsensical expression that meant nothing. Not that the Beach Boys would care.