It’ll Drive You Crazy, but Help Your Teen Behind the Wheel

What is it really like to be in a car with a 15-year-old who’s learning how to drive?

Let’s hear from a typical, sweaty-palmed parent who recently found herself in an intersection with her daughter behind the wheel, preparing to make her first left-hand turn.

“I said, ‘Pull out toward the middle and wait.’

“I guess it didn’t register. She made a left turn in the path of an oncoming car. As I’m screaming, ‘Don’t!’ she kept on going, which was probably good. I told her, ‘You were supposed to wait.’ She said, ‘But I had a green light.’ I said, ‘But so did he!’ ”

This mother limits their sessions to 15 minutes because by the time they return, her foot is aching from pumping the floor, her arm is sore from grabbing the door handle and her shoulders are stiff. “It’s very tense,” she said.

This is just the sort of hands-on training parents are increasingly being asked to shoulder--and for longer periods of time.

So far, a dozen states have instituted graduated licensing systems requiring more adult guidance for new drivers. A California bill that sailed through the Senate in July and is expected to win approval from the Assembly in a few weeks will reward teens with more freedom gradually as they gain more experience. Under the new rules, expected to take effect in January, teens will need six months of driving with a learner’s permit rather than the current 30 days. Young novice drivers will need 50 hours of supervised driving practice (including 10 hours at night) before obtaining a provisional license.

During the first six months, they cannot carry passengers younger than 20 unless accompanied by a parent, or someone older than 25, and they will be forbidden to drive between midnight and 5 a.m. In the next six months, they would be able to drive with young friends but would still be restricted from late night driving. Violators will be fined or required to perform community service.

The reason, of course, is that car accidents are the leading cause of death for people 15 to 20. Experts blame most of the more than 5,000 fatalities each year on a lack of experience and a bent for speed, power, loud music and impressing the opposite sex that we’ve known about since “Rebel Without a Cause.”

In states with licensing restrictions, teen driving deaths have been reduced from 5% to 15%, according to the National Highway Transportation Safety Administration. Since teens do most of their driving at night, states with nighttime driving restrictions or curfews for young novice drivers also have lower crash rates.

Over the years, parents have relinquished responsibility for teaching driving and many schools have dropped behind-the-wheel training classes. Commercial driver education programs vary considerably in quality and cost.

Despite the aggravation and lack of dual controls, parent involvement is crucial, said Michael Smith, research psychologist for the NHTSA. “Parents have to realize they are still role models,” he said. “Driving is a complex task. It takes time to learn to do it well. They can’t do it in drivers’ training school. They can’t just do it under laws and restrictions. It has to be a partnership.”

Parents are not instructors, but they can offer guided practice, Smith said.

Some tips:

* Leave personal baggage at home. If you’re angry over homework or chores, work it out before going for a drive.

* Stay calm. Pull over to the side after a mistake and discuss how to prevent it from happening again.

* Sign a contract with your teen in which both parties agree to avoid using alcohol or other drugs before driving and avoid driving with those who have. The contract could state that if a teen has been drinking, he or she will call home for a ride.

* Establish house rules about driving before the child gets a license. Institute your own graduated driving rules, increasing privileges slowly.

* Stay involved even after the child receives a license. Don’t hesitate to take away driving privileges if teens break any rules. A recent University of Memphis study has found that parental involvement, graduated licenses, and even curfews and raising the drinking age aren’t enough to keep kids safe. They also need the “threat of severe penalties.”

The NHTSA is preparing new materials to help parents. Others are available from AAA, Allstate Insurance Co. or Auto Testers Inc. ([800] 862-3277).

* Lynn Smith’s column appears on Sundays. Readers may write to her at the Los Angeles Times, Life & Style, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053 or via e-mail at lynn.smith@latimes.com. Please include a telephone number.