George Thomas; Founded L.A. Counseling Program for Abusers

George Thomas, who helped men learn how to stop beating their wives, girlfriends and children, has died at the age of 54.

Thomas died Sunday at Midway Hospital after a heart attack, officials at the Southern California Counseling Center said Monday.

As a lay counselor at the center, Thomas in 1986 founded and directed the Abuse Prevention Program, which helped men charged with domestic violence redirect their pain and frustration.

Growing up on the rough side of Detroit, Thomas was himself a battered child and became a batterer. He married, divorced and found his way to Los Angeles, where he dealt with his anger by calming the rage of men on the streets of South-Central.

He was soon recruited to help at the Counseling Center, where he worked for more than 20 years. “A woman whose husband had slashed her throat in front of her kids called me up in 1986 and asked me what was I doing for batterers. I told her nothing,” Thomas told The Times in 1994. “She told me if I wasn’t part of the solution, I was part of the problem and hung up. I said, ‘I’ll show her.’ ”

He patterned his program after the often-imitated Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention Program. As his program grew, Thomas was sought by radio, television, organizations and shelters throughout Los Angeles as a spokesman in anger management techniques.

Thomas regularly advised batterers: Call women by their names and don’t generalize, take time to care for yourself, learn to express what you want verbally, and develop a network of men to talk to in order to reduce emotional dependency on women.

“All I’m trying to do,” Thomas told Times columnist Al Martinez when he sat in on a session last year, “is to teach them to handle their own pain without resorting to violence.”

Thomas, the columnist said, led sessions “with a combination of skill, anger, drama and humor. He cajoles, scolds, encourages and praises with a furious energy rooted in his own violent past.”

Funeral services will be in Detroit. In Los Angeles, a memorial service is scheduled for Thursday at 7:30 p.m. at the Museum of Tolerance, 9760 W. Pico Blvd.

Donations may be sent to the Morganthau Foundation, Southern California Counseling Center, 5615 W. Pico Blvd., Los Angeles 90019.