SigAlerts of the Season

Claude and Karena Johnson of West Hollywood suspect their 5-year-old grandson, J.J., listens too much to radio stations at rush hour. When the lad was asked what he wanted for Christmas, he replied: “A jackknifed truck.”

ALTERNATIVE HEADGEAR: Seven years ago, Tommy Lasorda, then the Dodger manager, doffed his baseball hat to pose with a Saudi Arabian delegation for photographer Karl Schumacher (see photo). Perhaps Lasorda made a lasting impression. A Saudi Arabian investor, Prince al-Waleed bin Talal, recently shelled out $400 million to purchase 5% of Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. And News Corp., of course, is awaiting approval of its purchase of the Dodgers.

It’s time to reprise the nickname that the media gave Tommy, now a Dodger exec, that day:

Lawsorda of Arabia.

CRESCENDO: For this column’s ever-growing list of professionals with surprising names, Paula Horn nominates a Pacific Palisades piano teacher--Charles Bangs (see photo). Bangs says his name makes an impact: “I never have to hand out a business card.”

WHAT’S A LITTLE MORE WATER? In the Announcements-You-Don’t-Expect-to-See-Dept., City News Service sent out an advisory on Thursday, announcing that Southern California Edison’s “2:30 p.m. event at the soon-to-be-opened Long Beach Aquarium of the Pacific has been canceled because of the rain.”

WHAT A PAIN: A typographical error about a car with “lumber” seating reminded Harvey Geminder of Studio City of a silver-tongued car dealer he visited in Sherman Oaks.

“The salesman told me--with an absolutely straight face--that one model had ‘Lombard supports’ in its seat backs,” Geminder related. “He said these devices were named after a certain Dr. Lombard, a well-known back specialist.”

Talk about credibility jackknifing. . . .

REVVING UP THE CLICHES: Ron Keyson of Big Bear saw a quote from the president of Toyota Motors predicting “a paradigm shift” in future autos. “Now I’ve heard of stick shift and hydro-matic and even fluid drive (which dates me),” Keyson said. “But a paradigm? On the floor or column?” I doubt that even Dr. Lombard knows.

WANTED--A FOOT-IN-MOUTH DOCTOR: In Friday’s column, I mistakenly attributed a clever ad to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Actually, it’s the UCLA Medical Center that says its “doctors are just a kidney stone’s throw away.”

Deborah Neikirk of Fraser / Young, the agency that created the line, set me straight. The agency also came up with this slogan for the medical center: “For pains in your neck of the woods.”

Oh, my aching headline!

miscelLAny:

In the Don’t-Know-Much-About-Geography file, Meg Lindsay wrote about a friend who had a large collection of pre-Columbian artworks from Mexico and Central America. He described the collection to a young woman he was dating. She asked, “Where’s Pre-Columbia?”