He Should Have Had Rice There to Catch Him

Joe Montana found a new way to get sacked. As part of his tour of the Ft. Bragg, N.C., base Friday, the retired NFL quarterback jumped off a 34-foot tower, which is used by 82nd Airborne paratroopers in training.

Montana’s helmet flew off during the jump and he sustained a cut to one ear. He was taken to a post clinic, where a doctor gave him two stitches.

Jumpers wear a parachute harness when they jump off the tower. The harness is connected to a 225-foot cable that leads the jumper to a safety mound.

So much for Joe’s Airborne career.

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for the highest punting average in a season?

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Good for what? Alan Truex in the Houston Chronicle: “Excuse me, but did the South Florida media really give Bobby Bonilla a ‘Good Guy’ award when he has a sign on his locker that says, ‘Media Stay Out’?”

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Rim offense: Ed Graney in the San Diego Union-Tribune on San Diego State’s 24-18 overtime loss to Air Force:

“Go out to your garage this morning and remove the jack from the trunk of your car. Pick any tire. Remove it. Hammer 30 or so nails in it. Stomp it. Kick it. Make it as flat as possible. Look at it.

“Now you know what the offense for San Diego State’s football team resembles.”

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Golf disgrace: Dan Shaughnessy in the Boston Globe on the eve of the U.S. Ryder Cup team’s defeat by the Europeans:

“This is bad folks. This is Villanova-Georgetown ’85 squared. This is going to make Don Shula feel better about Super Bowl III. And U.S. captain Tom Kite has a chance to become the Ryder Cup’s Bill Buckner.”

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Off limits: New York Jet Coach Bill Parcells is a control freak, especially when it comes to the media contacting his players.

“No human contact is permitted between the players and writers except in a prescribed area and during a prescribed time,” said Gerry Eskenazi of the New York Times. “You can’t even talk to players about the time of day or a movie if it is not within a specific area of the lunchroom during that specific time of the day.”

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Looking back: On this day in 1961, Roger Maris of the New York Yankees set a major league record with his 61st home run against Tracy Stallard of the Boston Red Sox at Yankee Stadium.

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Trivia answer: Sammy Baugh of the Washington Redskins, 51.4 yards in 1940.

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And finally: Good news for cigar-smoking golfers: A cedar-paneled humidor has been built into the handle of a putter, called appropriately “the Puffer,” with room for four cigars.

Steve Sabol, whose Sabol Sports developed the club, says it’s the thickest putter available.