It Isn’t About Taking Power, It’s About Taking Responsibility

As a working mother of two children who has struggled for 10 years to get my ex-husband to pay child support, I am astonished at NOW’s response to the Promise Keepers movement. I’m thrilled that men are admitting they haven’t been as responsible as they should have been and are committing to being better husbands and fathers.

As a lifetime Republican, I am also appalled at the Republican Party treatment of Orange County Dist. Atty. Michael R. Capizzi. Republican power brokers are trying to punish him because a couple of the wrongdoers he is prosecuting happen to be Republicans--members of his own party.

The party is alienating scores of Republicans because they don’t realize the mainstream public is sick and tired of “situational ethics.” We want our leaders to take responsibility for their actions--no matter if they are priests, ministers, fellow party members or even family members.

What NOW and the Republican Party don’t seem to get is that the public is fed up with irresponsible behavior. We’re tired of whining organizations that have lost touch with reality, throwing their weight around and making power plays. Casting stones at people who are trying to do the right thing is not furthering their causes.

Statistics just released from a national survey sponsored by the Franklin Covey Co., a business management training company, show that 94% of Americans (across all demographic profiles) believe people do not take enough responsibility for their actions; 96% blame teenage delinquency on parents who don’t spend enough time with their kids; 92% want ethics taught in public schools. Those of us involved with the schools in Irvine know how cautious the school board was when Irvine became one of the first school districts in the nation to implement an ethics curriculum.

When the pollsters asked the question, “What would you change about yourself?” 40% of Americans answered with something related to their character or behavior (control temper, stop procrastinating, be more tolerant, etc.). Only 10% said younger or smarter, only 9% said they would change their appearance, and only 3% said they wish they could change their financial status.

These results are stunning. Americans are not as superficial or depraved as we think we are. The survey showed that 93% of Americans think “marriage should be a lifelong contract.” How can this be when our divorce rate is still hovering at the 50% mark? I think this represents what we want, and not what we are yet able to do. It is hard to change a paradigm of thinking ingrained over a 25-year period, which has been, “If it doesn’t work for you, get out.”

These statistics and other factors show that Americans want to live more principled lives. As I recognized my responsibility to be an example to my children, I began to consciously change my moral compass. The liberal social mores we accepted and lived with over the last 25 years have not worked. Our lives are not better, not are we happier, because we could do as we pleased and had more socially acceptable choices.

We are scared for our children. My generation allowed moral standards to slide according to what “felt good” at the moment. We have all paid the price in one way or another: multiple marriages, emotional confusion, complicated family ties, jaded children, health problems and even early death. But it is never too late to grow up or wake up.

I suggest the Republican Party and NOW wake up to reality and get back in touch with their constituents.

Groups like Promise Keepers are encouraging men to not only do what they should be doing legally, but to rise above the “basics” and take personal responsibility for improving their relationships with their wives, their children and their neighbors--of all colors and creeds.

I’m not worried that because of Promise Keepers some man might get control over me. My fight over the last 10 years was just to get my ex-husband to participate in the raising of our child. He’s a long way from holding any power over me.

And I won’t abide Republican Party bullies who play mean tricks on someone who is simply doing his job. Capizzi, an elected official, is supposed to go after lawbreakers, no matter who they are.

I vote for the person I can trust, who has high standards, will do what the job requires without favoritism or influence--and who knows what I care about. Down here in the thick of “grass-roots land” there are millions like me. And we say, God bless Michael Capizzi and Promise Keepers.