Laugh Lines

* Sunday was First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton’s 50th birthday. “Things have changed since 1947. Then, Americans were critical of our involvement in the U.N., House committees were trying to control Hollywood, and Chicago was in the NBA finals.” (Jerry Perisho)

* “A survey by the Mars Inc. candy company says parents in the Western states give the most candy for Halloween--led by Californians trying to relieve themselves of the guilt of feeding their kids soy burgers.”(Gary Easley)

* “Promise Keepers are telling everybody that their rally in Washington, D.C., was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. It’s what they said about Woodstock and about the pope in Central Park. Why is it that once-in-a-lifetime experiences always involve portable toilets?” (Argus Hamilton)

* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.