Why Don’t Designers Just Stamp Their Logos on Shoppers Foreheads?
Los Angeles artist Mary De Camp was so fed up with clothes featuring obvious designer logos she was compelled to create this illustration. “Designers’ logos on clothing--awful!” she wrote. “What am I, a billboard?” We couldn’t agree more. In fact, we believe designers should pay us if they want to rent advertising space.
Dear Fashion Police: How do you feel about parasols? Are they a sun-protection must, or should you save them for a rainy day? I returned one to my mother-in-law because it was fussy and I felt it elitist.
--CATCHING SOME RAYS
Dear Ray: Fussy we can understand, especially if it was one of those parasols with all the ruffly froufrous on it. But elitist? When you carry it, do you feel compelled to cinch your corset and cry, “Let them eat cake!”?
In 1998, a sun umbrella is considered nothing more than extra protection from those nasty UVA and UVB rays. Some of us find that even with a hat and SPF 2 billion we can still get a little pink.
So, OK, a parasol’s not your thing. (By the way, we hope you didn’t use the E-word with your mother-in-law; that probably won’t win you any points.) But we won’t be issuing any warrants for those who opt for umbrellas, so no one needs to worry . . . unless the umbrella has big yellow smiley faces on it, or cute little furry otters or something. That’s a misdemeanor.
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Dear Fashion Police: I have some wrist-length black gloves that I wear with a short-sleeved black cocktail dress. What is the proper thing to do when eating? Remove the gloves or leave them on? Removing them spoils the look, but eating with them on seems very strange.
--SHE WHO LOVES GLOVES
Dear Glove Love: Yes, it would be a bit odd to try to maneuver sushi with gloves on . . . or cheese puffs . . . or even Doritos, for that matter. The rule is, any time you’re handling food and drink, the gloves come off.
From your letter it sounds as if your gloves are a sort of retro accessory. In case anyone is curious, gloves are usually saved for the most formal occasions, such as meeting the queen. Of England, that is.
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From the Fashion Police blotter: The other night we were out at a nice restaurant (translation: cloth napkins, white tablecloths and you didn’t have to bus your own table) and were, as usual, lamenting the fact that so many diners were wearing jeans and T-shirts. But then we noticed another disturbing trend: men wearing baseball caps. Not only were the caps inappropriately casual, but we were under the impression that a gentleman removes his hat when indoors. Unfortunately, several violators had to be hauled off to the pokey before they finished their creme brulee.
* When reporting or preventing a fashion crime, write to Fashion Police, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or fax to (213) 237-0732. Submissions cannot be returned. No telephone inquiries, please.
