Audio

Romance is not a genre in which I often indulge. I find it too difficult to adjust my headset while holding my nose. Yet despite my disdain for flowery text and sobbing heroines, I must acknowledge the guilty pleasures wrung from:

“The Honk and Holler Opening Soon,” by Billie Letts (Brilliance, unabridged fiction, three double-tracked cassettes, nine hours, $24.95, read by Dick Hill. Also available abridged: three hours, $17.95, also read by Hill).

This is a sweet comic novel wrapped around a nontraditional romance. The Honk and Holler Cafe sits in eastern Oklahoma, where the food is as predictable as the faces around the counter. Upsetting the equilibrium is Vena Takes Horse, a Native American wanderer who arrives with her three-legged dog and several fresh ideas. Not far behind is an obliging if bumbling Vietnamese refugee who professes to be a cook. As these two alter the natural order of life for several of the locals, Vena opens the heart of a man who had forgotten about life beyond the diner’s doors.

Letts’ characters are endearing (even if you can figure out the routes they will follow long before you should), and Hill is very well matched to the material. He gives each character his or her own fully realized personality: He is equally convincing as a nasty drunk and as a panicked waitress with a missing daughter. He also is the rare narrator who can skillfully express the overall tone of a book, as well as the individuality of its characters.

*

“When Venus Fell,” by Deborah Smith (Bantam Doubleday Dell Audio, abridged fiction, four cassettes, six hours, $23.95, read by Mary Stuart Masterson).

This Southern romance is more traditional than “Honk and Holler,” and while no one would mistake it for art, it is easier on the ears than one might expect. Smith does not sidestep romantic cliches, but she does disguise them more ably than do others in her field. Her story glides along at a decent clip as musical prodigy Venus Arinelli is offered refuge in a Tennessee mountain inn and ends up reclaiming her past.

Naturally, a mysterious and brooding man offers romantic distractions. We also meet an emotionally fragile sister, an evil real estate developer and several unconventional fringe characters. Smith writes with a sassy attitude and unexpected wit that save her story--and the listener--from the agonies of fulfilled expectations.

Masterson, sounding as comfortable behind the microphone as she always looks on screen, contributes spirited and largely credible readings of each character. Scottish and Italian inflections are used with apparent confidence, and Venus speaks in honeyed Southern tones that make her sound intelligent and appropriately world-weary. However, Masterson neglects individual speech patterns, relying solely on accents to differentiate the speakers. Venus and her sister, for instance, sound too much alike.

*

“Enchantment,” by Christina Skye (My Romance, abridged fiction, two cassettes, three hours, $16.95, read by Rene Sofer and Wally Kurth. Information: [800] 665-7529).

Bosoms heave, thighs are taut, performers pant--and a listener can’t stop laughing. Actually, fans of serialized gothic romances should lap this up. The readers, both seasoned daytime soap stars, are appropriately overwrought. The music is sweeping; the sex, serious and explicit. As this is based on a novella, very little has been lost through abridgment, and the melodramatic production values greatly enhance its campy (er, I mean, sexy) appeal.

The story, set in an English manor, features a brooding lord, a sexually awakened American art historian, a ghost and heaps of formula. You well may find yourself glued to your stereo, gleefully awaiting references to “rigid thighs” and “the yearning swell of her breasts.” Just hide the tapes among your Shakespeare, and don’t let anyone catch you taking notes.

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Rochelle O’Gorman Flynn reviews audio books every other week. Next week: Dick Lochte on mysteries.