Flying Houses and Other Forecasts

Solar-Powered Clothing?: Some humans think the year 2000 will bring computer chaos, alien invasions and maybe Armageddon. But we predict flying houses, electric clothes and snacks made from underwear.

According to “Uncle John’s Indispensable Guide to the Year 2000” (Bathroom Reader’s Press), these and other inventions will apparently be developed during the next year. Or so said the experts of past decades. For instance, in 1967, Science Digest predicted that by 2000, “discarded rayon underwear will be bought by chemical factories and converted into candy.”

A 1981 book predicted solar-powered clothes that retain heat in the winter and coolness in the summer. One designer even said people would be able to “press a button to formulate our clothing. . . . Do we want it to be opaque, should it give off steam, do we want it to light up, do we want it to glow in the dark?”

Other forecasts::

* In 1966, Arthur C. Clarke wrote in Vogue magazine that houses in 2001 would be able to fly, thanks to building materials made stronger than steel but lighter than aluminum. “Whole communities may migrate south in the winter,” he said.

* In 1950, Popular Mechanics envisioned living rooms with drains in the floor, and all the furniture and curtains made of plastic so you could houseclean by hosing everything down.

* Popular Mechanics also forecast cheap plastic plates that would melt in hot water so housewives could “wash dirty dishes right down the drain.”

* In 1966, Time magazine said that by 2000, “machines will be producing so much that everyone in the U.S. will, in effect, be independently wealthy.”

Skip This One If You’re Eating Breakfast Right Now: At the risk of offending People for the Ethical Treatment of Insects, we feel obliged to alert you to a new book called “Man Eating Bugs” (Ten Speed Press), which contains stomach-turning photos of humans dining on deep-fried tarantulas, mealworm-covered caramel apples, grasshopper tostadas and other creepy-crawly delicacies.

Apparently, these are considered normal dishes in 13 countries, including the United States, where Montana entomologist Florence Dunkel insists that bugs are “certainly the food of the future.”

However, we tend to agree with columnist Dave Barry, who is quoted on the dust jacket saying: “I’m sure I would love this book, if I could read it without throwing up.”

This Column Contains 11 Essential Vitamins!: Scratch-and-sniff ads are about to be outdone by edible ones. A Florida company claims it has invented a process for publishing magazine ads that taste like whatever food or beverage is being promoted. The technique uses rice paper coated with flavoring and printed with edible ink.

OK, but no ads for deep-fried tarantulas, please.

Best Supermarket Tabloid Headline: “TV Newsgal Sues for $1.2 Million After Microphone Left on While She Uses Bathroom! ‘She Sounded Like a Water Buffalo With Diarrhea!’ ” (Weekly World News)

Roy Rivenburg’s e-mail address is roy.rivenburg@latimes.com. Unpaid Informants: Wireless Flash News Service, Kristina Sauerwein. Off-Kilter runs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.