LAUGH LINES

Oooo Scary Kids: President Clinton read “A Christmas Carol” to a group of children in the Oval Office last week. “Story time was interrupted when the Ghost of Nixon Past arrived for his appointment.” (Argus Hamilton)

Prove It: Tablets containing the earliest known writing may have been unearthed in Egypt. “Some archeologists remain skeptical, however, as many of the writings have been deciphered as ‘Chaka.’ ” (Elyse Verse)

Then Again: “The writing would have been deciphered 100 years earlier, but they just found out the tablets were a prescription.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Court’s in Session: In L.A. County, jurors will now either serve one day or one trial. “Or, in O.J. Simpson’s case, one debacle.” (Paul Ecker)

Play It Again: The NFL owners rejected a proposal to use instant replay during this year’s playoffs. “The only owner in favor of using videotape during the games was Dallas’ Jerry Jones. He wanted to use tapes from the Cowboys’ 1993 season.” (Jerry Perisho)

Sporting Chance: Mike Tyson could be sent back to prison for probation violations. But he wouldn’t have to return until after his January fight in Las Vegas. “You can’t deny a man a last meal.” (Hamilton)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.