Getting to the Heart of the Matter

Don’t panic! There’s still time--time enough, in fact, to come up with something more inventive for Valentine’s Day than dinner and a dozen roses, though you can still generally count on those to work their magic. This year, you might also consider, for instance, four-part harmony, erotic poetry or a sex tour at your local zoo. Love dangerously!

Valentine’s Day the Latin Way

Even the food-and-flowers routine doesn’t have to be a dog-and-pony show. Habana, for instance, offers a three-course, prix fixe dinner on Valentine’s Day with a flamenco floor show, video images of the “Most Famous Hollywood Screen Kisses” and recordings of popular romantic songs.

With at least several choices for each course, dinner might include crab cakes or conch fritters, plantain-grilled chicken breast or paella for two, a special lover’s dessert or the restaurant’s acclaimed Cafe Cubano. Three seatings: 6 p.m., $30 per person; 8 p.m. $35 per person, 10 p.m. $25 per person; prices do not include tax, tip or alcoholic beverages. Habana, 2930 Bristol St., Costa Mesa. (714) 556-0176.

Erotic Poetry

An erotic-poetry contest will be held Saturday at Alta Coffee Co. in Newport Beach. Featured readers include contestants as well as the event organizer, self-described “love poet” Lee Mallory. Contest will be limited to 20 contestants, each allotted five minutes to read; sign-ups begin at 7:15 p.m.. All work must be original. Judges will be poets T.S. Kerrigan and Curt Last. Besides a cash award of at least $30 for first place, prizes for other winners will include dinner for two at Alta Coffee and a signed collectible poetry book (by a poet other than Mallory). The event also includes music by Neil Miranda. 506 31st St., Newport Beach. 8 p.m. Free. (714) 564-6526.

“Love Poet,” Take 2: Mallory and Miranda present “A Valentine: The Language of Love” tonight at Barnes & Noble, Triangle Square, 1870-B Harbor Blvd., Costa Mesa, and Friday at Barnes & Noble, Metro Pointe, 901B S. Coast Drive, Costa Mesa. 7 p.m. both nights. Free. (714) 444-0226.

Men in Blaque Meet the Three Sopranos

The UCI Chamber Singers, joined by soloists from within the ensemble known as Men in Blaque and the Three Sopranos, present an “ostentatious” and “scintillating” evening of valentine favorites both comic and serious, with an emphasis on male chorus selections, under the baton of chamber singers director Joseph Huszti.

A “Hearts and Flowers” reception, including complimentary cookies and coffee and a flower for women, follows the performance, which takes place in the UC Irvine Concert Hall, in the Arts Village at West Peltason and Mesa Road. 2 and 8 p.m. $6-$10. (714) 824-2787.

Song and a Haircut?

The Society for the Preservation and Encouragement of Barbershop Quartet Singing in America--a.k.a. SPEBSQSA--has announced that barbershop quartets from several Orange County chapters will deliver singing valentines through Sunday. The foursomes will sing two romantic songs and present a rose and valentine card for $35.

Deliveries can be made at work, home, retirement home or restaurant, even a beauty parlor; recipients can be parents, children or co-workers as well as sweethearts. Proceeds benefit charity projects including Heartspring, for children and adults with speech impairments, and local schools’ music education and scholarship programs. (714) 223-3725.

The LoveMaster

“Walk nasty for the LoveMaster,” beckons a deep, sultry voice “channeling” through comedian Craig Shoemaker, who appears nightly through Sunday at the Brea Improv. The LoveMaster is but one of the characters featured in Shoemaker’s show; other impressions include Mayberry’s Barney Fife, Shoemaker’s pot-smoking grandmother and his belly-dancing mom. 8:30 p.m. today and Sunday, 8:30 and 10:30 p.m. Friday, $12-$15. Valentine’s Day performances 8 and 10:30 p.m., $80 per couple for dinner and show, $40 per couple for champagne and show, both packages including gratuity; or $17 per person admission only for 10:30 p.m. show. 945 E. Birch St., Suite A, Brea. (714) 529-7878.

Sex Tour (Mature Audiences Only)

Foreplay, monogamy and safe sex--in zoos--are among topics to be addressed Saturday and Sunday at Prentice Park when Santa Ana Zoo presents its fourth-annual Valentine’s Day Sex Tour. The hourlong tour, presented by the zoo’s veterinarian and curator of animals, is a scientific and educational presentation that nevertheless takes a hilarious look at an often taboo subject, entertaining even as it imparts important information about the ways animals choose mates and raise families. Guests will be treated to champagne and a continental breakfast. 1801 E. Chestnut Ave., Santa Ana. 8:30 a.m. 18 years and up. $15 for members, $25 nonmembers. Reservations required. (714) 953-8555.

Sweethearts Senior Dinner and Dance

Live music for dancing is slated for 2-6 p.m. Sunday at the Elks Lodge, 25092 Marguerite Parkway, Mission Viejo. $5 per person; tickets must be bought in advance at the Murray Senior Center. (714) 470-3062.

“Bears, Balentines and Old Lace”

The Newland House Museum gets all cuddly with a display of stuffed bears, vintage valentines and items from the museum’s linen collection through Feb. 22. The farmhouse is celebrating is centennial anniversary. Open 2-4:30 p.m. Wednesday-Thursday, noon-4 p.m. Saturday-Sunday. $1-$3. 19820 Beach Blvd., Huntington Beach. (714) 962-5777. (More information, Page 62.)

Nifty at Fifty Plus

Couples married 50 years or more are invited to a free, all-you-can-eat lunch or dinner through Saturday at HomeTown Buffet restaurants in Placentia, Anaheim, Buena Park and La Habra. The offer, which includes a free photograph, requires only a copy of the couple’s marriage certificate. Last year, the nationwide HomeTown Buffet, Old Country Buffet and Country Buffet restaurant chain served about 77,000 free meals to couples who said “I do” more than half a century ago. Entrees at the elaborate salad-to-dessert buffets include on-the-spot carved meats. (714) 528-2278.

Roses by Another Name

If you want to say it with flowers but didn’t get that rose order in, think about something more exotic. The UCI Arboretum is selling cymbidium orchid arrangements ($8-$16) as well as potted cymbidiums and other potted gift plants ($15-$30) Saturday. Toss in a card with an appropriate sentiment (perhaps, “One-of-a-kind for my one and only”?), and it’ll seem as if you planned for weeks. UCI Arboretum, one block south on Campus Drive from Jamboree Road, on the north campus. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Free. (714) 824-5833.