Please Don’t Begrudge Sonny Bono His Due

I was married to Sonny Bono and spent the 10-year period of 1975-85 with him. Upon his death, I went to Palm Springs and spent that week with Mary Bono, Cher and the immediate family. Although we were all grieving, our spirits were periodically lifted by the constant outpouring of love and admiration for Sonny. Additionally, it was extremely heartwarming to finally see the media treating Sonny with some respect.

This uplifting feeling abruptly ended when I read Howard Rosenberg’s column (“Bono, Brinkley and Befuddlement,” Calendar, Jan. 12). While he had a few kind words for Sonny and seemed to be moved by the service, Rosenberg clearly didn’t feel that Sonny had done anything grand enough to merit that kind of media attention.

Perhaps I can shed some light on why Sonny’s life story captured the attention of the public and the media. During our early years together, Sonny went through his most trying period. The media had a field day with him after the breakup of Sonny and Cher. Thepublic and press turned their backs on him, with the media painting him as the simpleton buffoon character he had played in his ‘70s TV show, “The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour.”

It was painful for me to see Sonny, who had been watched by millions on television, later play to an audience of 10 people when he took his solo act on the road.

Back then, everyone invalidated his abilities, his talent and his courage. But he chose to march on rather than give up and had the remarkable ability to continue to believe in himself when no one else did.

Having been with him during his darkest days, I applauded him when he reinvented himself and became first a mayor (of Palm Springs) and then a U.S. congressman. Sonny personified the great American success story. And people admired him for that and for his resilience when he failed.

After his death, it was extremely heartwarming to see the media, the same media that had derided him years before, finally give him the credit he deserved.

Sonny was multitalented. He was an astute producer. I was happy to see Cher dig deep into her heart during the eulogy and let it be known that he was the brains behind Sonny and Cher, not some no-talent guy riding on her shirttails.

He was an important songwriter. Knowledgeable music industry executives and artists testified to that.

He was a hard-working and effective politician. He helped Palm Springs immensely when he was mayor. He went on to Congress, where those congressmen who were in a position to know say he was an effective legislator who was making important contributions to his congressional committees.

But most important, he had the ability to touch people. You could not go anywhere in Palm Springs after he died without hearing a “Sonny story” from people. He touched all of them in very personal ways.

I don’t know how he had the time to have interacted so personally with his constituency, but the wealth of stories I heard showed me that he did. He was a mensch. He was genuine. And that is rare among people, let alone among politicians. That is why he was loved.

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Many members of the media were taken by surprise by the outpouring of love and respect for Sonny, perhaps because they had spent years discrediting him or perhaps just because they are far too cynical to understand what that outpouring of love was all about.

But the citizens of Palm Springs understand, just as the congressional leaders who worked alongside Sonny understand.

Why begrudge him these accolades in death that he never received in life?

To Rosenberg, who doesn’t believe the tribute to Sonny was merited, all I can say is: You obviously never knew the man.

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Susie Coelho is an actress, television host and author of the upcoming nonfiction book entitled “The Warrior Queen, the Bandit Queen and Me,” which recounts her journey to India to interview the notorious female outlaw Phoolan Devi in prison.