Saying ‘Thanks’--and So Much More

The last time I talked to Ra’id Faraj was in April of 1995, the day after the Oklahoma City bombing. He was a 26-year-old Palestinian who’d arrived in Orange County five months earlier, angry and frustrated with life under Israeli occupation but eager to study in America.

The day after the bombing, when people were still speculating about the possibility of foreign terrorists being involved, Faraj was apprehensive. If it turned out, he said, that an Arab faction or, specifically, Palestinians were involved in the bombing, would the America he had come to admire be open-minded and resist stereotyping the Middle Easterners in their midst?

With the fairly quick arrest of two Americans, the scenario Faraj feared never materialized, and I lost contact with him.

Until this week, when I got a letter from out of the blue.

“It has been a long time since we last talked,” it began, “and so much has happened to me in the meantime.”

I made a run out to see him. He’s still living with the same Santa Ana family that put him up 3 1/2 years ago. Faraj may have become more Americanized than I thought: I don’t recall him bearing such a strong resemblance to Jerry Seinfeld.

This weekend, Faraj, now 29, will graduate from Chapman University with a degree in international studies. He’s boning up on the LSATs and hopes to begin law school this fall.

He works weekends in a bagel shop in Orange. He is absorbing American culture but noted proudly that he’s gone as long as 3 1/2 months without watching TV.

He’s visited his family and friends in Bethlehem only once since coming to America. When he did, he says, he got angry all over again because he realized what his fellow Palestinians are missing by living under occupation.

Still, Faraj refuses to see life in dark tones. In fact, along with his personal note to me, he had written a “letter to the editor” that he wanted The Times to print as his way to “thank all the people who have helped me and encouraged me, and without whom I would never have been able to come this far.”

It’s a letter, however, that says a lot more than “Thank you.”

Here are some excerpts from the letter, which Faraj began by depicting the ongoing struggle between Palestinians and Israelis along the West Bank:

“The Koran tells its followers that at the darkest point of our lives, Allah shows us a light, a path,” Faraj wrote. “And so it was for me. At my darkest moment, an American student I had befriended in Jerusalem invited me to come to his home and continue my studies. . . . I arrived in Orange County in December of 1994. I learned the American expression ‘hasn’t got a clue’ very quickly.

“I began to carve out a new chapter of my life. I attended Rancho Santiago College [now Santa Ana College] for two years. There I learned about democratic education, where my ideas and opinions were listened to, and I was not only allowed but encouraged to explore new ideas and concepts freely. . . . So many wonderful teachers took a special interest in me, and made my stay at Rancho one of the greatest experiences of my life.”

Faraj enrolled at Chapman in the fall of 1996 and wrote glowingly of both the school administration and two professors. Then he offered this observation:

“During my time at Rancho and Chapman, I had the opportunity to not only enjoy my newfound freedom and educational journey, but also to observe a great deal of apathy and taking the system for granted on the part of many students. Observing this behavior confused me at first, and later saddened me. The sadness was based on my own experience and in the experiences of so many of my fellow Palestinians who are denied the opportunity to freely learn and reach for the opportunities so carefully tossed aside by the apathetic students I observed in so many of my classes.

“I often read or hear complaints about the condition of education in the United States. Teachers and schools are criticized for their lack of standards and falling student skills. While I know the system is far from perfect, my experience is that if you work hard, study and invest yourself in the experience, you can reach your goals and gain the benefits of your labor. I rarely had a teacher unwilling to help me or work with me. Most were actually grateful when I went to them with questions or concerns.

“I only wish some of my classmates could understand how lucky and blessed they are to be in this country and have the opportunity for intellectual inquiry. The opportunity to challenge an idea, debate a point of view or research a foreign concept is a very special gift. It allows a person to not only explore the outside world of ideas but the inside world of self-examination.

“I feel so grateful for having been able to experience [the American educational system] and to have gained so much from it. It has changed my life forever.”

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by writing to him at the Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or by e-mail to dana.parsons@latimes.com.