Are You Lonesome Tonight? Surf for Elvis

In case you didn’t know it, this is Elvis Week.

Each August, fans of all ages from around the world gather in Memphis, Tenn., for Elvis Week, the week leading up to the anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death (Aug. 15, 1977). In Memphis (and Tupelo, Miss., the King’s birthplace), myriad Elvis events are occurring this week, including live entertainment, trivia contests, Elvis art exhibits and more, culminating in a candlelight vigil on Sunday at the gates of Graceland Mansion.

If you can’t make Memphis this year, log on and convene with like-minded Elvis enthusiasts online. Indeed, the Internet, a haven for wacky conspiracy theorists, fanatical fans and weirdo zealots, is just the place a dedicated Elvis devotee could feel at home.

Surfing straight to the nitty gritty, we find the “Elvis Is Alive Museum” at https://www.iwc.com/elvis/, which testifies, “DNA Proves Elvis Lives.” The museum’s curator has written a book ($9.95 plus shipping and handling) that contends that the body buried at Elvis’ final resting place does not contain the same DNA as a biopsy sample taken by a Memphis physician in the mid-1970s.

This is just one of a slew of Elvis Is Alive and Elvis sightings Web sites.

What would Elvis say about the fact that the Alta Vista search engine turns up 52,730 Web pages devoted to the King?

“Computers may outthink us one day,” Presley was quoted as saying, “but as long as people got feelings, we’ll be better than they.”

Jeez, what would Elvis think of the “Elvis in the Machine” site (https://metalab.unc.edu/elvis/download.html), where you can download a teeny tiny Elvis to sit on your task bar and make remarks? You can also opt for an animated Elvis cursor or screen savers. All free. The way Elvis would have wanted it.

While we’re speculating about what Elvis would say, we turn now to the “What Would Elvis Do?” Web site at https://www.whatwouldelvisdo.com/. Here folks are invited to tackle ethical conundrums from the point of view of the King.

In the same vein, the “Temple of Elvis” site (https://www.templeofelvis.com/) celebrates Elvis as “America’s first home-grown pagan deity.” The site explains extreme Elvis fandom as a legitimate modern religious movement. Following in his example, the temple donates a portion of its earnings to charitable organizations (as Presley was wont to do). There’s also a section where surfers can “Testify!” (“If you’ve seen Him recently or have been guided by His Light, let us know.”)

For a virtual pilgrimage to Graceland, drive your mouse up to https://www.elvis-presley.com/, the official Graceland site where you can explore the Elvisology (bio, stats, etc.), order the Elvis credit card (Visa) or find out about Elvis events. While the Graceland Platinum Tour is $19.50 in person, the unofficial online tour at https://photo.net/summer94/graceland.html is free as a bird.

Speaking of birds, Elvis impersonators come in all shapes and sizes, including fowl. See Friz-Elvis, the Budgie King, a parakeet-like bird (at https://www.nwlink.com/~timelvis/showroom.html) that is known to sing numbers such as “Are You Lonesome in Your Cage Tonight?”

Other sites include the home of the flying Elvises (as seen in the movie “Honeymoon in Vegas”), an Elvis seance site, many Elvis sightings sites and the Elvisians site(https://www.bigtimedesign.com/elvis.dir/elvisian.htm), devoted to those who believe Elvis was an alien.

Some interesting Elvis art can be found at https://goultralightsgo.com/naoki/elvis/index.html. You can sign the Americans for Cloning Elvis petition at https://www.geocities.com/Vienna/1673/.

Which of the following are drinks, and which are Elvis flicks? “Aloha.” “High Roller.” “Blue Hawaii.” “Flaming Star.” For the answers, play “Elvis Movie or Cocktail?” at https://www.brunching.com/toys/toy-elvisordrink.html.

How much would Elvis weigh on other planets? If you need to know, click on https://www.stampo.com/elvis1.html, a repository of Elvis facts. This site also features an uncanny list of similarities between Elvis and Jesus. Get this: “Jesus is the Lord’s shepherd. Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd. Jesus walked on water. Elvis surfed. Jesus was the lamb of God. Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.” Spooky, huh?

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Erika Milvy writes about arts and entertainment from her home in San Francisco. She can be reached at erika@well.com.