‘Say Aaah’ : Booster Shots : If I Had a Hammer . . . : ROSIE MESTEL

Someone just sent us a chocolate-covered macaroon infused with a Peruvian herb rumored to have strength- and libido-enhancing properties (a colleague--we won’t say who--tried to sneak off with it). And a dentist wrote to tell us he’s developed “two new ways to brush the teeth using a regular toothbrush that the whole world can use.” (Not my brush they can’t.)

We also received some articles about devices for removing dental crowns. We wonder a little about the people who design these things.

There’s the “mallet and chisel” approach. The “screw and wrench” crown remover. Not to overlook the “reverse mallet” or the “screw in a screw combination crown remover,” which sounds bad, but not nearly as fearsome as “clamps and jaws for use with percussion instruments” (maracas, perhaps, or castanets?), which sounds positively medieval.

We don’t recommend checking out the pictures if you’re squeamish about visits to the dentist. Or maybe you should. If anything’s going to encourage brushing, this is it.

Ice Cream, Plus Some Unappetizing Subjects

Every now and again, scientists and doctors get together for shindigs where they report on the latest developments in their fields. Last week, for instance, experts gathered at UCLA for the fourth International Conference on Breath Odor. Sadly, we couldn’t go, and so missed talks on bad breath-measuring instruments called “halimeters,” a miraculous-sounding “electronic nose” and the “lost art” of tongue cleaning. The American Chemical Society also met last week. In one report, researchers at the University of Missouri asked 100 people to taste test low-fat and high-fat chocolate ice cream. Low-fat vanilla ice cream scores lower than the high-fat version on such tests. Chocolate, however, turned out to be equally flavorful whether high fat or low fat. This might be because the flavor of chocolate is very complex (it’s often used to mask other flavors in food). Anyway, chocolate ice cream might be a better bet for any picky eater you’re acquainted with.

A University of Iowa scientist, meanwhile, reported on something less appetizing--cockroaches. He wanted to know how to repel the little pests. So he put them down on two pieces of paper, one of which was soaked with various chemicals. Then he noted which paper the cockroaches preferred hanging out on.

Cockroaches, he found, don’t like chemicals contained in the hedgeapple--a hard, inedible fruit you’ll sometimes find in grocery stores to place in cupboards where you don’t want to hear the patter of tiny feet. And--cat lovers ahoy!--cockroaches don’t like catnip. One catnip chemical was 100 times more potent at repelling roaches than the chemical DEET that’s found in commercial insect repellents.

Wearing Weapons of Bacteria Destruction

Finally, one last report from that American Chemical Society meeting, this one for anyone who’s worried about the germs in their clothes.

Move over, Medea: We’re talking about clothes that can kill.

These clothes, however--unlike that dress that Medea of Greek mythology fame brewed up for a rival in love--kill microbes, not people. HaloSource, a company in Seattle, has grafted a virus- and bacteria-slaying chemical to fabric. The chemical is long lasting, the company says, and can be recharged by rinsing the clothes in a mixture of bleach and water. The bacteria and viruses are killed within minutes.

Body odor is one application. When volunteers wore socks and T-shirts treated with the chemical, they showed “noticeably reduced odor with no adverse reactions.” Future applications could include clothes for health care workers, hospital bedding, dish cloths, household sponges, even chopping boards. Sorry, Medea, but we think these guys win the marketing prize.