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Mouth Traps Could Snap at Any Time

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“One mistake and he’ll bite you.”

Some boxer talking about Mike Tyson?

Nope. It’s New York Jet wide receiver Keyshawn Johnson reflecting on his matchup Sunday against Dallas Cowboy cornerback Deion Sanders.

“I welcome the challenge,” Johnson said. “He’s a fine player. Maybe I’ll make him go play baseball . . . or then again, maybe he’ll make me retire.”

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Trivia time: Warren Moon of the Kansas City Chiefs needs 27 more pass completions to reach what milestone?

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A star is born: Two Spanish soccer clubs came up with unique ways of celebrating their centennials.

Barcelona kicked off its birthday bash by giving life membership in its fan club to four babies born immediately after midnight on Nov. 29, the 100th anniversary of the club’s founding.

Espanyol, the Catalan city’s “other” team, topped that. To mark its anniversary in 2000, its fan club gave the team a new star. Not the playing kind, a real star.

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Somewhere in the Camelo Pardalis constellation, there now is a star named “Espanyol of Barcelona 1900.”

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Meltdown: This whole global warming-polar icecaps melting thing has a positive side to it, according to the Washington Post’s Tony Kornheiser.

“The bad news is that the runoff will cause catastrophic global flooding that will ruin your carpets,” Kornheiser wrote.

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“The good news is, you’ll be able to fish for trout in your living room.”

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No business like snow business: One reason the Olympic movement’s public image is sliding downhill faster than a runaway luge is its lack of a sense of humor.

For example, the Brighton Ski Area in Utah recently came up with an eye-catching promotional slogan: “Proud host of ZERO Olympic events.”

Not funny, said the USOC, which fired off a letter, saying, “While the intent of your ad campaign may be humor, it is also very damaging to the hopes of U.S. athletes currently in training for the 2000 Olympic Games and the 2002 Olympic Winter Games.”

Brighton’s advertising, USOC continued, “dilutes the value of the Olympic mark and impairs our licensing and fund-raising efforts.”

Ah, yes, fund-raising. Funny how that dollar sign always comes into the Olympic equation.

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A rigged ballot: Says the Chicago Sun-Times’ Ron Rapoport: “If you threw a blanket over [Muhammad] Ali, [Joe] Louis and Jackie Robinson and declared a three-way tie for athlete of the century, you would get no quarrel from me.”

You’d get one here, though.

Has Rapoport entirely forgotten about Pele?

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Cold shoulders: Mike Smith, the Chicago Blackhawks’ new “manager of hockey operations,” must have realized he was in for a rough ride when he picked up the Chicago Tribune and read Bernie Lincicome’s description of the club:

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“The Hawks are a hockey team without speed, with spotty goaltending, embarrassingly disorganized on offense and sadly delicate on defense. Not to mention, this is the least creative team in all of hockey.”

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Add frozen gladness: At his introductory news conference, the Blackhawks’ Smith said, “There may be changes. Maybe not.”

Said Lincicome, “Nothing like hitting the ice waffling.”

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Trivia answer: To become the third player in NFL history after Dan Marino and John Elway to complete 4,000 passes.

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And finally: The Sporting News’ annual list of the 100 most powerful people in sports does not include Sepp Blatter, the president of FIFA, world soccer’s 203-nation governing body, or even Alan Rothenberg, former U.S. Soccer president and founder of Major League Soccer.

It does, however, include one soccer personality. Making the list at No. 97 is Brandi Chastain. Amazing what simply stripping off one’s jersey can accomplish.

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