Ducks’ Marshall Learns a Lot Working With Big Brothers/Big Sisters

Wearing his flip flops and blue jeans, looking as shy as any 10-year-old at a party full of strangers, Jason Marshall tries to stay anonymous.

Marshall, a hard-nosed defenseman for the Mighty Ducks, has joined his wife, Sonia, at a special party. Sonia works for the Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization of Orange County and on this holiday evening, at a small office building in Tustin, 50 families have gathered to receive a gift of food, presents and holiday trimmings.

Understand something, Marshall says. This evening is not about him. He is not trying to get himself pats on the back for being a good guy. He is much more in awe of many of the other adults here than he thinks anyone is in awe of him.

On this night when Santa will appear and children squirm in their mothers’ arms, eager to get this evening going, Marshall tries to stay in the background. Please, Marshall says again, “This is not about me, I don’t want it to be about me.”

But when you are a professional athlete, when you are a Mighty Duck, the favorite team of many kids in Orange County, it is hard to remain anonymous. Children come to Marshall, asking for an autograph or just a pat on the back, and Marshall always obliges.

We can say that athletes are not required to be role models but we can’t make that a reality. Marshall knows this. So does Sonia and as often as possible Sonia, pregnant with the couple’s first child, will give Jason a little prod, a little shove out of the bed on a Saturday morning when there is extra work to be down at Big Brothers/Big Sisters headquarters.

And for his part, Jason has learned something too.

“The kids are great,” he says, his eyes opened wide in wonder, “and it’s amazing the effect a stable adult presence can have.”

The idea of Big Brothers/Big Sisters is simple.

A mother or father, usually from a single-parent family, sees a need for a positive role model. In the majority of cases, it is a single mother looking for an adult male to guide her son. Sometimes it is a single dad looking for an adult woman to help guide a little boy or girl.

Sonia and Jason grew up in the perfect world of two loving parents, Sonia in the Chicago suburb of Highland Park and Jason in rural British Columbia, in Cranbrook. There was always someone to talk to, someone to guide a confused child or teenager, someone who cared.

The Marshalls met when Sonia was finishing college at Bradley in Peoria, Ill., and Jason was playing minor league hockey there. When Jason arrived for good in Anaheim during the 1995-96 season, Sonia stayed back in Chicago, working at McCormick Place, putting her marketing degree to work.

But finally, about four years ago, when Sonia was slogging to work with frozen breath and snow swirling around her car, she says, “I thought, ‘What am I doing?’ My boyfriend was in Orange County. It was 70 degrees outside.”

As she looked for a new job, Sonia thought that a position with the Orange County charity organization would be fulfilling in a deeper way than just a paycheck. “You see the people around here, you see how the ‘bigs’ have such an impact on the ‘littles’ and it’s a thing that makes coming to work every day a joy.”

Bigs and littles. That is Big Brother/Sister talk for the volunteer adults and their little brothers and sisters.

“It’s so amazing what the ‘bigs’ do,” Jason Marshall says, a few minutes before the Wishmaker Christmas party begins.

“I never realized it before. There’s guys who are 25 years old who volunteer their time to do this and they have such a big impact,” he says. “I remember what I was like when I was 25, so I really appreciate the commitment these guys make. The thing is, it seems like what the bigs get back from their littles, it improves the bigs’ quality of life as much as the littles.”

The first time Sonia brought Jason with her to work, it was only for some manual labor assistance. “Mostly she had me moving boxes and furniture,” Marshall says. But then Sonia would ask Jason to come along to the parties and meetings. “The kids love meeting him,” Sonia says. “There’s always this aura around athletes, whether they want it or not. The kids always get excited to meet Jason.”

“Well, I’m not sure about that,” Jason says. “I’m not sure they usually know who I am.”

With an unpredictable schedule and so much travel in his life, Marshall doesn’t think it would be fair to be a big brother himself. “Someday, though, I’d like to,” he says.

And having met so many bigs, having hugged so many littles himself, Jason and Sonia have found out something. “I think this will help us be better parents ourselves,” Jason says. “You see here how much of an effect you have and you see how smart the kids are, how they notice everything and pay attention to everything.

“I guess that’s what athletes should realize: The kids notice everything you do.”

Whether you like it or not.

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Diane Pucin can be reached at her e-mail address: diane.pucin@latimes.com