It’s the Cheese

Not for the bashful, these are places to go where folks put on a show . . .

* Club Montecristo. If you haven’t had a date since the ‘80s and that’s still your favorite era, what are you waiting for? Ladies dress, um, to impress at this new mid-Wilshire spot and the mingling ratio’s darn near even Steven. 3100 Wilshire Blvd. (enter from rear of building on Westmoreland Avenue), L.A., (213) 252-9343. 21 and over, cover varies.

* Garden of Eden. We don’t know who they are or where they come from, but Garden of Eden attracts multitudes of scantily clad alien life forms every weekend. Maybe they’re looking to sample some forbidden fruit. 7080 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, (323) 465-3336. 21 and over, cover varies.

* The Gate. The Gate will go down in history as the venue that couldn’t be stopped: “Producers looking for hotties! Hotties looking for producers! Happening nightly!” (or at least Wednesday-Saturday, when this tony restaurant and dance club opens its Goth-like doors). 643 N. La Cienega Blvd., West Hollywood, (310) 289-8808. 21 and over, cover varies.

* Jumbo’s Clown Room. What can we say? A strip club makes it past the two-decade mark and, suddenly, it gets voted most popular. Seriously, this cheesecake factory owes its longevity to the rock ‘n’ roll set--who enjoy clowning around at this favorite Eastside haunt. 5153 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, (323) 666-1187. 21 and over, no cover.

* The Key Club. Only the Key Club would throw a widely promoted birthday bash for Carmen Electra, by her former husband--Dennis “King o’ Cheese” Rodman--and not be able to lure the guest of honor. It’s these runs of bad luck that makes this place so goofy and humble: a combination where anything’s possible (and FYI, lots of lasses and lookers are lining up to dance at the club’s weekend promos). 9039 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, (310) 274-5800. 21 and over, cover varies.

* Queen Mary. The ultimate in drag queen karaoke, the Queen sails Wednesday through Saturday, with four decades of singing starlets. 12449 Ventura Blvd., Studio City, (818) 506-5619. 21 and over, cover varies.