Shaq and the Lakers Lay It on the Line

Dear Phil:

I would like to apply for the job as Shaquille O’Neal’s new free throw coach. I would employ my latest, state-of-the-art invention called the De-Bricker. It’s a 15-foot pole with a hoop attached to the end in a vertical position (yes, I own the rights to this). I would place it equidistant between the rim and the free-throw line and make Shaq shoot through the hoop every time he practices.

I would also move his right elbow in line with his shoulder, and move his left hand to the back or off the ball (no one owns the rights to this, give it a try free).

As we are all painfully aware, if Shaq makes 65%-70%, we have a chance at the banner. If not, forget it. The league won’t buy your pitch for a three-to-make-two rule, particularly since you basically fathered the Hack-a-Shaq defense in your Chicago versus Orlando days.

I bet I could help you turn those bricks into gold and that hoop into a ring. Can I have the job?

MIKE McLACHLAN

Manhattan Beach

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It looks as if the Lakers are off to a good start. It’s too bad that only upper-class businessmen who don’t know anything about basketball can afford to attend games, instead of the real fans who wear the jerseys and imitate the moves on park basketball courts.

GREG HANSON

Long Beach

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Hats off to the new guy in Los Angeles named Green. (No, I’m not talking about the $84-million Dodger right fielder.)

A.C. Green of the Lakers has added something to the team that it hasn’t had in years, maturity. On a team of childish superstars, A.C. brings experience, hustle and desire to every game. His NBA record for consecutive games played is an inspiration to those on the basketball court. His announced celibacy as an unmarried man sets a tremendous example to teenagers off the basketball court. A.C., you are a true role model and we are all Green with envy!

J. SCOTT SCHEFFER

Adelanto