LAUGH LINES

A Man in Need of Directions: “President Clinton said that recently at the White House, a Secret Service agent pointed a gun at him because he thought the president was an intruder. . . . The agent said he didn’t think that it was the president because the man was spotted near the first lady’s bedroom.” (Conan O’Brien)

He’ll Sleep on It: “A study reveals that not getting enough sleep can age you. So that’s what’s happening to Keith Richards. It isn’t the drugs, cigarettes, whiskey and women. He isn’t getting enough naps.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Thanks, Mom: A hiker recently completed his goal of walking the Appalachian Trail. “His mom was fond of saying, ‘Don’t criticize my son until you’ve walked 2,150 miles in his shoes.’ ” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

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Matt Reed

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