SPORTS WEEKEND : GOLF : Body Language of Europeans Is Easier to Interpret

The Ryder Cup is about birdies, winning holes, pairings, alternate shots, captain’s picks and all the usual stuff. But until it actually starts this morning, it’s also about body language.

In that case, edge to Europe. The European players are head and shoulders above the U.S. players in the body language department.

Here’s the deal: European players are loose and joking. The U.S. players are short and uptight. The European players joke. The U.S. players grimace.

The European players are so carefree, they probably would float away if they weren’t wearing shoes. The U.S. players seem to be carrying the weight of the world.

Why is this so?

“We’re coming in here as underdogs,” Colin Montgomerie said. “The Americans are expected to win.”

Clearly, it’s much easier to show up and act loose and play carefree golf if few people in their right mind think you’re actually going to win.

And at the same time, it’s difficult to play from ahead, to be the heavy favorite, especially if you’ve been getting your head handed to you with mind-numbing regularity, as the U.S. team has in recent Ryder Cups.

Mark James, the European team captain, has done a wonderful job in establishing a position as the underdog. An example: Not only is his team the underdog, it is also young and inexperienced. The upshot is that if Europe loses, so what? And if Europe wins, he’s a genius.

You have to admit, it’s a foolproof strategy.

As for U.S. captain Ben Crenshaw, because of the now-defunct (let’s hope) compensation issue, if the U.S. team loses, it’s not going to be his fault. It’s going to be because of those whiny, spoiled millionaires he has playing for him.

No wonder the U.S. players have been so grim. In this kind of body language, U.S. fans can only hope something has been lost in the translation.

That coolness could be steely willpower. Resolve. Grit, confidence and coolness. Or maybe not.

“I think there’s more of a calmness, maturity effect that I see on our team,” Mark O’Meara said.

Of course, that was before O’Meara learned he would take his calm maturity to the bench for this morning’s alternate-shot format. Study his body language. See if he sits up straight.

CAN I GET A RULING?

Bad uniform decision of the week goes to the Boston Globe, which decided to dress all of its Ryder Cup reporters in identical red windbreakers so they would be easy to identify, only to discover that the Ryder Cup marshals are wearing the same windbreakers.

VOLCANOLOGY

Bad name decision of the week goes to whoever turned down ESPN.com’s suggested title for Steve Pate’s Internet Ryder Cup journal: The Volcano Chronicles.

THE 12TH OF NEVER

The most dangerous hole of the week at the Country Club? It’s No. 12, hands down.

Usually, it’s a 455-yard par five, but not for the Ryder Cup because Crenshaw decided the best thing to do was knock a shot off par and add 31 yards in length so that now it’s, well, what?

“It’s a par 4 1/2,” Crenshaw said.

Terrific.

Anyway, it’s one heck of a hole, guaranteed to upset just about everyone. The landing area has been called the Runway to Hell, with a 20-foot cliff of rough and sand traps and a bunch of trees overlooking the whole thing.

It’s a fairly daunting spectacle, said Pate, who played in the 1988 U.S. Open at the Country Club.

Said Pate: “Either I’ve gotten smaller or the trees have gotten bigger.”

On the blind second shot, players must negotiate an additional 100 yards of a narrow fairway to an elevated green that’s the shape of a capital L, sandwiched by bunkers.

What’s this called? “A little roadblock,” Crenshaw said.

NO TUNEUP NEEDED

Crenshaw on Tiger Woods: “He’s a very, very smooth engine right now.”

THE DAILY DALY

John Daly trashed his hotel room during the 1997 Players Championship after a night of drinking and nearly killed himself. In a story in this week’s Golf World, Tim Rosaforte asked Daly if he has enough strength to avoid something like that happening again.

“Honestly? Probably not,” Daly said.

Then why is he drinking and gambling?

“I want to gamble and I want to have a few drinks now and again,” Daly said. “Basically [trying to stay sober] had taken over my life and I was miserable. It’s like I’ve said before, there’s no way I’d never drink again.”

Daly said he has no regrets about recently losing his lucrative endorsement with Callaway Golf.

“It’s sad, but I think it’s great to be free,” he said. “Granted, I could go out and lose everything [by] gambling and drinking, but there’s no sense in denying it. It’s in my blood.”

GET YOUR FAX STRAIGHT

As a television reporter, Brad Faxon is a good golfer. Last week, he won the B.C. Open and this week, he’s freelancing as a reporter for a Rhode Island television station.

After Jeff Maggert said in an interview that the U.S. team has the 12 best players in the world, Faxon said: “I’m sure that was taken out of context.”

Well, no, actually it wasn’t. But keep trying, Fax.

BUSINESS NEWS

For what it’s worth, Greg Norman is reportedly in contract talks to leave Cobra and join MacGregor. . . . Tom Watson has signed a golf ball deal with Precept. . . . Reebok Golf will stop making apparel and merge footwear operations under its sister company, the Greg Norman Collection.

Also, Orlimar is extremely upset with Golfweek over an article about the Northern California clubmaker’s settlement of its lawsuit involving Callaway. Orlimar claims the story was misleading in tone and fact, basically for claiming a total victory for Callaway.

SHELL GAME

In the first match in “Shell’s Wonderful World of Golf,” Ernie Els plays Nick Price at Leopard Creek, a Gary Player-designed course next to a game preserve in South Africa.

The match, which will be shown at 8:30 p.m. Tuesday on ESPN, features Price tossing a rubber snake in Els’ face.

Said Els: “I was jumping all over the place.”

BIRDIES, BOGEYS, PARS

The third Glendale City Championship will be played Oct. 2 at Scholl Canyon Golf Club in Glendale. The event benefits Club Maple, a program for developmentally challenged adults. Details: (818) 242-3487.

The American Lung Assn. of Los Angeles County will hold a tournament Oct. 4 at Rolling Hills Country Club. Details: (323) 935-5864.

The Ralph Kiner celebrity tournament will be held Oct. 29 at Soboba Springs Royal Vista Golf Course in San Jacinto. The event is presented by the Hemet/San Jacinto Valley Chamber of Commerce. Details: (909) 658-3211.