‘I Succumbed to the Seductress of Power’

Excerpts from Rafael Perez’s statement to the court:

While sitting in my cell, it dawned on me this would be my chance to . . . publicly apologize and ask for forgiveness for having violated the law, having violated several vows and oaths I’ve made to my wife, the citizens of Los Angeles and the Los Angeles Police Department.

But then the realization began to sink in: What exactly could I possibly say . . . that would be strong enough or genuine enough to warrant my pardon?

The atrocities that were committed by myself and those who stand accused are unforgivable acts. The city of Los Angeles had and has a right, among other things, to a fair and just system of policing. Those rights in so many ways were violated.

Ever since I was a young boy living in Philadelphia, I dreamed of becoming a police officer. In June of 1989, that dream came true. For many years I proudly wore a badge of honor and integrity and enforced the laws in the standards befitting a Los Angeles police officer.

In the Rampart CRASH unit, things began to change. The lines between right and wrong became fuzzy and indistinct. The us-against-them ethos of the overzealous cop began to consume me. And the ends justified the means. We vaguely sensed we were doing the wrong things for the right reasons. Time and again, I stepped over that line. Once crossed, I hurdled over it again and again, landing with both feet sometimes on innocent persons. My job became an intoxicant that I lusted after.

By then, I began to lust also for things of the flesh. The end result: I cheated on my wife. I cheated on my employer, and I cheated on all of you, the people of Los Angeles.

It didn’t occur to me that I was destroying lives. The lives of those whom we victimized and their families who loved them. The life of my wife, whom I love beyond all reason, and indeed my very own life.

I won’t offer excuses, as none could cure the pain experienced by the people I hurt, namely all of the wrongly accused and convicted, my family and friends, the criminal justice system and the Los Angeles Police Department. To those people in organizations that I have hurt, in such a profound way, and to the public at large, I now tell you with every beat of my heart and soul that I am truly, truly sorry. I am also sorry for ruining the public’s trust in their Police Department.

By revealing the unpleasant truths behind the badge that at one point I so proudly wore, I hope to right some of the many wrongs. I will make every effort now and until the successful conclusion of this investigation to cooperate, provide insight and knowledge as to what went wrong at Rampart CRASH. . . .

There is no justification for my misdeeds, either on or off duty. I can only say that I succumbed to the seductress of power. Used wrongfully, it is a power that can bend the will of a man to satisfy a lustful moment. It can open locked bolts to facilitate theft. It can even subvert justice to hand down a lifetime behind bars.

On the latter, I apologize to the courts and the juries that were my unwitting accomplices on those occasions that I wanted to secure convictions. Beside the exoneration of the innocent persons, I most want at this time to remind the greenest rookie cops that they too have this power. Used wrongfully . . . [that power] can plant the defendant’s feet firmly on the path to the death house. They need only to look to me and my impending prison sentence to remind them that, for whatever reason they might have to consider placing a finger on the scales of justice, it is morally indefensible and contrary to our Constitution.

I will ask rookie and young police officers alike to periodically revisit their oath and the reason they entered law enforcement. I will ask that you use me as an example of who you will avoid becoming. Do not let the pressure of status, numbers and impressing supervisors dictate the type of officer you become. The moment you cross that first line, it will be impossible to step back.

To the young officers, I want to leave you with some admonishments: Listen very closely because these are words that I wish someone would have shared with me. I want to admonish you that you will be enticed by fancy models and places that will make you believe that there is a purpose and a reason for what they want you to do and what they want you to be.

You will hear such things as: “Solid . . . can be trusted . . . hunt for the big elephant . . . special chosen group.”

I admonish you to closely evaluate what you are being told with those words. I assure you that they will pale in comparison to what you will eventually be: shameful, regretful and disappointed.

Above the threshold of doors that lead to CRASH offices, you will read such flip, awful statements as, “Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall.” As well as, “We intimidate those who intimidate others.”

To those mottoes, I offer this: Whoever chases monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster himself.