Weird Science
A jaded newspaperman we know used to while away his idle hours scanning “the wires” for the omnipresent “studies” that make for news on a slow day. They never stopped coming--he could always count on three or four a day.
Politics, social welfare and aesthetics be damned. . . . At times, the most enduring concerns of Americans seem to be their big bottoms, fragile egos and offspring.
Some of this social evidence is disturbing, some of it ridiculous and much of it, admittedly, confusing. If nothing else, the proliferation of studies demonstrates the culture’s obsession with “science,” pseudo and otherwise. What follows is a Rorschach test of . . . God only knows what.
(All headlines and news alerts are guaranteed to be authentic and were taken from a variety of major news services over the last year or so.)
Four out of five middle school students admit to acting like bullies at least once a month, according to a study released Friday by U.S. researchers.
WASHINGTON TODAY: Tired teenagers need more sleep.
Study suggests girls who drink soft drinks more likely to break bones.
Study: Children benefit from fathers’ involvement.
Studies Find Flu Is Common in Kids.
U.S. kids eat badly but are less likely to die.
Study: Keep Babies Out of Adult Beds.
Study: Day care slightly weakens child-mother bond.
Kids watch too much TV, study finds.
Study links lying to popularity in teenagers.
Poll: Teens’ greatest pressure is grades, not sex or drugs.
U.S. kids exercise less, eat more potato chips than kids elsewhere.
Leave it on: Study says night lighting won’t harm children’s eyesight.
TEEN SEX: Girls are having sex with more boys than men.
Teenagers who use drugs are more likely to have sex.
Laughing gas may help smokers kick habit, study suggests.
Scandinavians are most prone to breast cancer: U.S. study.
Bicycles waste little energy--study.
Gene study suggests: Eat less, live longer.
U.S. study says stressed workers calling in sick.
Exercise could endanger the out-of-shape: study.
No private health insurance increases risk of dying.
Study finds drinking lots of caffeine doubles miscarriage risk.
MEDICINE: One drinking binge by pregnant woman can hurt baby’s brain.
Women often bear emotional brunt of illness, study says.
Depression pills may double as treatment for hot flashes.
Hearing loss is increasing along with noise levels.
Regular, brisk walking lowers risk of stroke in women, study says.
Free condoms in motels could help prevent AIDS: study.
Government study shows HIV diagnosis changes sexual behavior.
U.S. says men have worse health habits than women.
Obesity raises depression risk in women.
Study: Overweight moms can diet without hurting breast-feeding babies.
Modest weight loss helps people with everyday activities.
Report: Miss America winners getting skinnier.
Study: Holiday weight gain less than feared, but it lingers for years.
Fatter men suffer more erectile dysfunction-study.
A study suggests that survivors of air crashes could end up in better mental health than air travelers who have never had such an experience, perhaps because the traumatic experience changes victims’ perspective on life, the study’s co-author said.
People hurt in traffic accidents actually recover better when they can’t sue to collect money for their pain and suffering, researchers say.
Retirement strains marriage, men prefer work--study.
Warm socks may help some people fall asleep, researcher suggests.
Scientists say catnip repels cockroaches.
Fire ants do not need a picnic as an excuse to attack people but will barge indoors to attack human victims, a report said.
More than half of U.S. drivers run red lights: poll.
Study: Junk food raises teens’ risk of heart disease.
LONDON--Drinking at least one cup of tea a day could cut the risk of heart attack by 44%, new research suggests.
Study says wealthy get better heart care in Canada.
Scuba diving dangerous for heart defect sufferers.
Heart surgery may be option for octogenarians: study.
People who are highly anger-prone are nearly three times more likely to have a heart attack, a study found.
Study: Depressed men, not women, face greater risk of heart death.
Snoring said to boost heart disease risk in women.
Study: Snoring may be sound of serious sleep disorder.
Snoring is bad for sex: study.
Study: Sex may improve for women after hysterectomy.
Vain Venezuelans also lead sex happiness: survey.
Internet may create new sexual compulsives: study.
U.S. men’s sperm counts unchanged in 50 years--study.
Report shows guns in U.S. change hands quickly.
Study: Short boys more likely to be held back in school.
Study: Adults born small face lower incomes but are just as happy.
Small babies underachievers, U.S. researcher finds.
Tall men get the girls and have more kids than short guys.
Therapy chicken helps abused children conquer fear.
Hold that thong: Casual dress causes confusion at work.
Study in USAToday: Men more fertile in sweater weather. Men’s fertility declines during the warmer months, shows a “small but precise” study.
U.S. study says firefighters suffer loss of smell.
Cooking a big Thanksgiving dinner and cleaning up after the meal is enough work for many hosts, who want visiting family and friends to sleep elsewhere, survey says.
