P.S. Please Be My Valentine, or I Promise You’ll Really Regret It

Hope you’ll excuse me for giving you a Valentine’s Day item so late. I promise not to be so thoughtless next time.

Being a conscientious husband, Joseph Feinstein of Sherman Oaks bought a Valentine’s card for Fran, his wife of 43 years, several days ahead of the occasion.

The card was covered with hearts and “I love you” declarations. He put it in his desk.

When he took it out on Valentine’s Day, a Post-it note was attached. The note said: “This card had better be for me or you’re in deep doo-doo.”

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FIGHTING FOR BUSINESS: The proud tradition of brawling in minor league hockey, celebrated in the Paul Newman movie “Slap Shot,” continues with the Long Beach Ice Dogs.

The team has even sold corporate sponsorships for the penalty boxes, both of which are often occupied by fist-fighting, high-sticking frolickers.

The sponsor of the visiting team’s penalty box is especially appropriate: Avengers Security Services.

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ON THE ROAD: On a visit to Hawaii, Spencer Dean of Santa Barbara found a church where there’s probably a lot of praying for surf (see photo).

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HE WON’T COME UNGLUED IN A CRISIS: Brian Lee Cross of Orange, a Libertarian candidate for the state Assembly, lists his occupation as wallpaper hanger.

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WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE: Before last year’s L.A. Marathon, I noted that Sparkletts, the official bottled water of the race, had donated several thousand gallons of water for the event.

But I wondered how runners who drank Evian would manage. Well, I just heard from a spokeswoman for Sparkletts who told me that the Danone Group, which owns Evian, has acquired Sparkletts.

Wow! I didn’t know this column could get such results..

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

FO Sand and sandals are obviously not a problem here.