LAUGH LINES

Time Flies: “To give you an idea of how quickly things move in this country . . . today I saw Bill Bradley’s new American Express commercial: ‘Hi, remember me? I ran for president once!’ ” (Jay Leno)

That’s a Gas: “Can you believe how outrageous gas prices are getting in Southern California? I mean, who ever thought that one day the only place in town to get gas for a decent price would be Taco Bell?” (Andrew Wisot)

Not Necessarily the News: “According to a new study by the University of North Dakota, the smarter teenagers are, the less likely they are to have sex. Well, yeah, there’s a name for them--I believe they’re called ‘nerds.’ ” (Wisot)

Off on the Wrong Foot: “Looking back, it’s obvious that Bill Bradley and John McCain both made one big mistake in their presidential bids: They decided to run.” (Gary Greenfield)

Reality Bites: “Several NBC affiliates refuse to air the cartoon ‘God, the Devil and Bob’ because they are worried about its impact on children. The children, on the other hand, are worried that their NBC affiliates are too stupid to understand it’s just a cartoon.” (Alex Kaseberg)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.